Swallowed by the Sea
by ovp
Summary: Why was she assigned hostage feeding duty?
1. The Sea

Well this is not only my 20th story but also a practice piece. I wanted to try writing in a different style (present tense) about how I think Artemis feels after _Depths._ This will probably only have two parts but since it's become massive on my computer who knows. As usual it's a bit darker than my regular stuff but fret not **_Confection Kisses _**(the sequel to Sweet Affection) will be posted Friday! I have a lot of people to thank for their support of that story which I'll do on Friday.

**Pairings: **L'gann/Artemis (Friendship), Wally/Artemis, Roy/Jade

_Inspired by the song: Swallowed by the Sea by Coldplay (awesome Spitfire music video to the song by MusicalChaos05)_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or it's characters.  
_

* * *

**Swallowed by the Sea**

* * *

There's a point Artemis realizes that she doesn't want to be doing this anymore. She's never felt more helpless trapped on the submarine speeding hundreds of kilometers below the surface of the ocean. It doesn't help that's she's almost drowned one too many times on missions for her to be truly comfortable this far away from oxygen. There's nowhere to go. Any screw ups and she'll be dead. Aqualad will be harder to kill of course. He can breathe underwater. He can swim away if he has to. Fight if he has to. There's no second chances for her if she screws up. If the charm falls off. If someone recognizes her. Killing her would be all too easy. She'd never identified herself as claustrophobic but under the waves so far away from the surface, from **air,** she feels that all too familiar twinge of fear and the leaden feeling of being trapped. She pats the charm dangling at her neck – it's a nervous tick she's developed over the last few days to make sure it's still there. To make sure she's _not_ Artemis.

How Kaldur managed to explain her joining the crew Artemis will never know. How people are actually trusting her when they know nothing about her. Well, she understands that part. That's also fear. Fear of what will happen to them if they question authority. Kaldur, the murderer of his friends, says she stays and she's with him; so no one touches her and that is comforting. They fear her by association. It's been a longtime since she's held that power. She frowns staring into a bucket of squirming, wiggling shrimp and other sea life. She's never going to be able to eat seafood again.

"Back again Manta chum, " a voice leers at her. Honestly what M'gann sees in L'gann she'll never know. His manners are atrocious and even subdued with some spell and shackled he still acts like a cocky prick. His sea metaphors are also annoying as hell as she throws the bucket into his cell. Why was she assigned hostage feeding duty?

"Eat." L'gann just sneers at her face laced with defiance.

"Why should I? You could have poisoned it." This sidekick is grating her patience.

"If you don't eat it I'll stuff it down your open gullet so you can choke on it." Ah there it is. The look of fear trickling into his eyes and settling on his face. Even the stupidest can only hold out for so long. Although Wally has found he doesn't mind when Artemis dominates in certain aspects of their relationship then again it's hard to tell when all he can do is beg for more and throatily moan.

Lagoon Boy's hand reaches into a bucket pulling out a violently thrashing shrimp before popping it in his mouth and crunching, "My friends are coming for me." He states it simply like it's fact. If only. She knows they're coming. Wally will be there seething and angry ready to avenge his _dead _girlfriend and she'll have to fight him. Dance around him with...guns. That's her new weapon of choice. She'll have to shoot at him. She'll have to watch him bleed.

"Keep dreaming," she responds giving a swift kick to the bucket because she's annoyed and doesn't want to have to deal with the consequences of what the four of them have started. But L'gann, the infernal ego driven jerk, just won't shut up.

"I have a girlfriend, you know, she won't stop till she gets me back."

"How nice for you." He tenses. If he thought he could rile her up using M'gann he was dumber than he looked.

"She's a Martian." Can't even keep her identity secret? Seriously what did M'gann see in this chowder head. Great. Now she's using sea slang.

"Flipping fantastic for you, fish boy."

"She'll rip your mind apart." Artemis narrows her eyes. That was never a thought she had ever expected to associate with the kind hearted green skinned girl. M'gann wouldn't abuse her powers in that way.

"Whatever you say. She first has to show up doesn't she?" That shuts him up as he glances around as if expecting her to phase shift through the wall. She leaves him like that, suffering and alone, because she's evil now and she can't give him any sort of sign that they will find a way to free him.

"You're not so bad, minnow." L'gann states a few days later. Not that she really cared for his opinion but she can tell he's giving up hope on the glorious rescue. He didn't last as long as she suspected he would. Although she wishes he would quit it with the sea colloquiums.

"You're on a ship with murderers and criminals and you think I'm _not_ evil. I think statistics are not in your favor."

"You always bring me fresh shrimp," he says helplessly grasping at the only light he sees. Her.

"If you haven't noticed we're underwater. All we've got is fresh shrimp."

"What's your name?" Artemis's eyes widen. It's the first time anyone has asked her that question. This puzzles her. Why had no one asked her that question? She stares at L'gann who has this horribly pacified look on his face as if she's his only friend in the world and as pathetic as it is she probably is. But she curses her stupidity for never thinking that far into her disguise. Honestly, names were an essential part of it and she has no time to ask Kaldur if he had already given her a name so she blurts out the only name that swims through her mind – one from her childhood.

"Alice."

"Alice?" L'gann looks genuinely confused like he was expecting her to say the name Butch, or Destroyer or something equally evil.

"You got algae in your ears? My name is Alice."

"Weird name." Artemis has to stop herself from scoffing because her name is normal compared to L'gann. Honestly. Krill must be eating his brain.

It's two weeks later and L'gann has stopped eating. Not that she cares really. She's more concerned that she is going insane. She misses sunlight and air that's fresh and isn't recycled and stagnant; heavy with salt. The smell of the sea has all but lost it's charm and she's absolutely convinced there's a leak in her room – so that water is drip, drip, dripping into her quarters. Kaldur assures her there is no leak but she snorts because all she can think bitterly is that everyone either has gills or those funky suits that allow them to breathe underwater so of course a leak wouldn't matter to them. But she's becoming paranoid trapped in this tin can and so she carries two rebreathers and an inflatable life jacket on her at all times – although she knows neither will do her much good if the cold Atlantic Ocean decides to flood the moving fortress.

She blames it on stress, that, and the fact that Kaldur has no time to help calm her qualms about being under the sea as he's buzy trying to be a good little, evil son. So she becomes closer with her only other _ally _on this ship – even if he doesn't know it. Eventually though curiosity gets the better of her and she just wants someone to talk to really and, God, she's kind of glad L'gann's there.

"How do you stand it?"

"What?" he sounds a bit broodish now which is better than the pathetic victim he's been playing.

"Being under the water all the time. I feel like I'm suffocating."

"It's home." Artemis accepts that. For him the wet and cold is natural. For him the murky darkness and torrid depths are just a walk in the park.

"I hate it."

"Get used to it."

L'gann stares at her brokenly from his prison. Ego deflated. If she wasn't undercover she'd tell him the rescue will happen in a few hours when they're _supposed _to drop him off for one of the Light's partners. The team will be there. M'gann will be there. They'll fight. He'll accidentally be set free. The pain in her ass will finally be gone. She'll be able to breathe air again. She wonders which she is looking more forward to.

L'gann looks at her, "They're not coming are they." Pathetic. Now she has to boost his morale. This so was not in her job description.

"What giving up hope already? What about that Martian girlfriend of yours?"

"I'm the rebound guy," he brings his knees up into his chest, "She's probably already cozying up to her ex." Then he glances at her fixated, "You're real right?" His black pupil-less orbs shine as if questioning if she is even physically there, or if she isn't some elaborate trick of his imagination to ease the pain of abandonment.

"Eat. Fish boy."

"Why bother?" Artemis looks upward at the cold black steel and tries to see beyond it through the stormy darkness to the clear blue sky. Why does she have to deal with this rookie? She actually feels sorry for him. It twinges inside her.

Wally is going to kill her – or him. Whichever he can get his hands on first.

She reaches between the bars and harshly grabs Lagoon Boy's face yanking it towards her. She kisses his cheek. He's as scaly as she thought would he would be (it chaffs her lips like sandpaper) and just a bit dryer than he probably should be. She promptly lets him go and he stumbles back and lands on his rear.

"See real." She storms away from the flabbergasted, blushing boy. Yup. Wally is going to kill her.

* * *

Jade's fighting Kaldur. Artemis would be flattered that her sister is trying to avenge her if she wasn't so good with a blade. Kaldur is already tiring from the onslaught of knives and kicks and punches and Jade's screaming probably isn't helping him concentrate. The plan could really fall apart if Kaldur actually dies. Then there's her.

"This is your stop, fish boy." Artemis snaps as she _accidentally _kicks him into the water while fending off Nightwing's and Kid Flash's combined assault. She vaguely hears M'gann's plaintive cry _"L'gann!" _But Artemis is too distracted to care or notice that even when he's held in the Martian's arms he's still staring at her. She deftly fakes a few punches to Nightwing knocking him away with a roundhouse kick before moving onto the speeding blur who has decided to use this opportunity to shower her randomly with kisses between punches that never touch her. She manages to knock him to the ground and they grapple. Wally lands on top pressing uncomfortably close before she spins him over and he's beneath her. The charm dangles between them a foreboding reminder that he's one of the few people who can actually see _her_ and Wally just stares into her eyes – drinking in the sight of her and she becomes all too aware of how close they actually are.

"You're not supposed to be aroused idiot," she murmurs evilly her thighs rubbing against his legs. Wally swallows thickly. To anyone else he would appear to be struggling valiantly against a murderess but all he appears capable of doing at the moment is squirming as his costume gets uncomfortably tight and letting out those pants she loves so much – at least until he throws her off him into the fucking ocean. She manages to clip him in the shoulder with a bullet during the fall but then she's cold and wet. Wally's staring down at her both smugly and worriedly until her head resurfaces. The salt water stings as it flows against some of her superficial wounds. That dumbass is going to regret that when all this is over.

Then they're retreating because they're the bad guys and it really pisses her off to have to back down because now she's boiling mad and might actually want to inflict some damage on the team. Kaldur grabs her wrist and pulls her back towards the sea. She hates the water. Couldn't she be a prisoner of war? She doesn't want to go back to that cold, metal tub and not see the sun or moon again. But she yanks her rebreather aggressively from her utility belt jamming it in her mouth and diving beneath the waves.

Of course once she's cold and soaked and shivering in the cargo hold Kaldur, the ever malicious leader, punishes her to the brig for losing the prisoner and then commends her for injuring the untouchable Kid Flash. She's actually relieved once she's confined inside the small, lightless room. It's identical to the closet her father used to lock her in to punish her. It's the first time she's felt at home since coming here.

She snaps a glow stick and a dim circle of light surrounds her as with trained patience she inspects herself for injuries and makes sure her equipment is in working order. She finds a note tucked in her holster, it's soggy but still intact, and there's a crude drawing of what she thinks is supposed to be a caricature of Kid Flash embracing her. There's lots of heart too and a drawing of their dog. But scrawled at the bottom in Wally's ever sloppy handwriting, that only after five years of _having _to read it, can she manage to make out the lines, '_My hand is terrible company. It can't do half the things you do.' _Artemis smiles rereading the note over and over because Wally may be fast but he's not patient and she can only imagine how he's _suffering. _Everything isn't okay. But it'll be okay. For now.

* * *

"I think we should see other fish." The cave goes deathly quiet as everyone stares at the recently returned Lagoon Boy and the reunited couple. M'gann stands there floundering, trying to think of words to say but Superboy butts in.

"What?" Everyone can hear the anger lacing through his voice, his fists clenching at his sides.

"I realized something while I was captured," it's the most serious and authoritative tone anyone has ever heard from the scaled boy, "That I need to find someone who cares about me."

"But I care about you –" sputters M'gann brokenly, "We're dating."

"Beyond dating," intones L'gann sagely and to be honest everyone is actually scared that he is capable of actually sounding wise, "Like what the archer and fast boy had." Wally tenses at _had _his hands tightening till his knuckles whiten. "I want to find someone who will be there for me and not be scared of what I am. Someone who gets me." Miss Martian's mouth opens and closes brokenly, no sounds coming out. But Lagoon Boy doesn't stop there.

"There was one hot babe, Alice, black hair. The traitor's right hand girl. She watched over me. Brought me meals. She so had the hots for me."

Jade stops twirling her knife because now she's at the Cave regularly waiting for any opportunity to exact her vengeance on Kaldur for killing her sister. Wally violently curses and slams his plate of food so hard on the counter the glass breaks. Nightwing has to grab his arm to stop him from charging towards the classless Lagoon Boy. But that doesn't mean he can stop Jade too.

"What did you just say?" she hisses grabbing the gills on the boy's neck harshly and pulling him towards her.

"Alice watched over me," he flounders clearly not realizing a deadly assassin has him in her hands.

"Fucking Alice watched over you?" she exclaims angrily shaking the boy, "So fucking Alice, my Alice, is fucking at the bottom of the sea?"

"I don't think she's your Alice anything, chum," states L'gann, "I even managed to snag a kiss." Roy looks between Nightwing and Wally – two people who were supposed to be mourning the loss of a friend and loathing each other who were all of a sudden staring at the exchange with wide frantic eyes. Wally looks downright pissed, if his glare could kill L'gann would be dead, and Nightwing looks worried as he clutches at Kid Flash's arm. Then Jade is on him. Kissing him; because that's how she deals with her anger when she'd not allowed to kill the source of it.

"And now I get to witness angry make out sex!" grounds out Wally bitterly throwing his hands up in the air. Then there's a beat and Wally shrugs off Nightwing's hand defiantly and shoulders roughly past L'gann purposely jabbing him in the groin.

"I'm going home." Roy vaguely catches something along the line of, _"I'm going to need more tissues.' _But he's too distracted to care.

* * *

Artemis would laugh. She would. If she wasn't trying to not get pummeled to death by Superboy and hacked to bits by her own sister. So far L'gann has spent the better part of the fight trying to get close to her, hand reaching forward plaintively as if he was calling back a companion and every time he manages to get close Kid Flash races between them _accidentally_ knocking Lagoon Boy aside.

It's funny to see the boys fighting over her instead of fighting her. But it's not funny, ha ha, it's stupid. These two idiots will blow her cover at this rate. One's trying to convert her to the good side and one's trying to protect her from the good side. The irony is so thick she could spread it on toast.

Wally trips knocking Superboy away leaving Artemis dueling her sister alone. Conner is yelling something fierce at Wally – she wasn't aware he knew that many swear words and is moderately impressed.

"I'm your opponent," hisses Cheshire icily her mask glinting horribly in the darkness, "And I don't play nice." Jade is probably mildly astonished since she pulls two blades from her boots and begins to match her hit for hit.

"I didn't know you played for the good guys." Artemis knows that will set Jade off. She knows there's no going back once the words leave her lips and Jade's eyes darken to an impossible to capture shade of black and she is no longer aiming to maim but to kill.

She thinks she hears Wally yell something but then she feels the hot searing pain of a metal slicing through skin as Jade sinks her blade to the hilt into her abdomen. Oh God. It burns. She twists the blade eyes level with Artemis's dilated ones. "That's for my sister. You sick twisted son of a bitch." Irony. Sweet merciful irony.

Then somewhere off in the distance she hears the choked scream of Lagoon Boy, "ALICE!" _Who's Alice? _She wonders confused in those brief moments between pain and reality, _oh right. That's me._

Jade drops the knife. She never drops her knife – staring at her wildly as she staggers backwards and Kaldur roughly grabs her arms dragging her into the waves. She's pretty sure Wally is about the dive into the water too, until Nightwing places a gloved hand on his shoulder pushing him firmly into the ground but she can't be sure everything is distorted under the waves and her eyes strain through the brine fixated on her lover's face until the need for oxygen overwhelms her and she starts to thrash even though it stings like hell and blood is floating across her line of vision.

Then someone is shoving a rebreather in her mouth and Kaldur is ordering the medical team to meet them in the cargo hold ASAP. Hands, hands she had never associated as more than the enemies', kindly lift her through the water. There is honor among thieves she thinks vaguely. She's one of them and she's hurting and they care. Then she realizes that they aren't any different. They have families and loved ones they're just fighting on the other side. It's always been about sides – everyone has problems, everyone has feelings – it's the side that divides them. Look at her philosopher. Imagine what they could accomplish if there weren't sides. She bites down, hard, on the rebreather because otherwise she'd scream as the jellyfish poison her sister loves to use kicks in and if she opens her mouth her only source of oxygen will be gone; pulled away by the cruel current.

Then she's lying on a cold, hard metal floor and her shirt is being ripped away. Shapes swim and blur before her vision as Manta soldiers run to her aide desperately trying to save her. Kaldur is barking orders and she can hear the quiver of fear in his steady timbre. She grips at the arm of the nearest black clad drone and rasps,

"Poi...son." She licks her lips it's like she's drying out. It's all the salt water. Her skin is cracked and her hair has lost its luster already to its devious ways. Her throat is closing and her eyes are heavy, "Jelly..fish." For some reason the figure before her nods reassuringly and places her hand in their's and squeezes as she slips unconscious. It's warm. So why did she always think these people were so cold?

_"Thank you..."_

* * *

_Please review. :)  
_


	2. The Shore

So for anyone who's been following me on tumblr yesterday my USB drive decided it would be funny to fry itself and take all my Spitfire stores, prompts, and my major assignment I need to graduate with it. I was not a very happy person yesterday. Anyways thanks to the support of some amazing people (**spitefirechick, intrajanelle, chaneldancegrl, and iloveyou-iknow**) you sent me some very kind messages of support. I eventually decided to pay $99 to retrieve my files. Anyways this was one of the files trapped on my USB so I dedicate this chapter to you four amazing people who actually bother to pay attention to someone as lowly as me. Big thanks.

I got such amazing reviews and responses for this story that I also have to give a big thanks to all the fans who've supported my work. So like usual huge, huge thanks to:

**anon: **Lucky for you this story is not a one-shot. Hopefully I don't disappoint you in the second chapter.

**DxS4ever:** You have impeccable timing because your review is almost on par with the update. Thanks for reviewing!

**j9162: **I'm glad you enjoyed the irony. I just think this is going to be a real challenge for Dick and Wally when they do eventually face down both Artemis and Kaldur in front of the team. I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much.

**TheWestCrock: **I am continuing :) Thanks for reviewing!

**Mad31lina: **Thanks for reviewing! Glad you enjoyed it!

**Samian: **Thanks. I'm not sure how happy I am with the style but we'll see how it goes. :)

**anon: **Thanks for reviewing! Your support means a lot.

**anonjon: **You give me way too much credit. But flattery will get you everywhere. Wink, wink. Thanks for reviewing!

**Larkspur4Kat: **Thank you so much! Description has never been my strong point so this really is a piece for me to see how well I write in other styles. Thanks for reviewing!

**randommonkeyz998: **Thanks for the review!

**Melissa Black13: **Thanks for reviewing! But you are giving me way, way too much credit :)

**DottoraL'Artista: **Hey I love it when people bother me to write more. That's what inspires me to write or I'd be all sloth like and never accomplish anything. Badger away. I'm curious who are your other friends... :) Thanks for the review.

**Hahhnahh: **Your wish is my command!

**Cosmic-Surge: **I am continuing. This question is when will I stop. This is already massive as it is... Thanks for the review!

**Ally Marton: **Yeah I've kind of made L'gann look a little pathetic. Poor guy... Ah well. I'm glad you appreciated the humor I tried to weave in it subtly because it's such a strong part of the show and my writing. Thanks for reviewing!

**leafysummer: **I'm not sure the show will ever go this indepth into Artemis's time under the sea. But I think it's sweet that you want this to be canon. That's a huge compliment. :)

**Whitewolfmoon: **I am continuing. I just want to know when to stop. Yeah I like philosophical Artemis too, because she's seen both the good and the bad side and has to take everything with a grain of salt.

**ArtemisLover: **Yeah L'gann is not my favorite character. Okay I kind of wish they'd dump him in the desert and leave him there... but I felt that I should probably cut him some slack because really he's being treated pretty badly in the show. Rebound guy that's just sad. That's not something anyone deserves. Thanks for reviewing.

**archergirlxo: **When Jade stabbed her she still looked like her alter ego - the charm never fell off it's just Jade knew her sister's alias was Alice because of L'gann and she realized that she had just stabbed her. Thanks for reviewing!

**RobinXZatanna: **Perfect might be exaggerating but it's sweet of you to say :)

**sam the deadly nightshade: **Thanks for the very flattering, unnecessary compliments. They mean a lot.

**fixati0ns: **Uh...you say the nicest things. Yeah you rock!

**sunflower13: **Yes a lot of conflicting emotions and opinions in this story. Makes for drama and plot and tears. Thanks for the review!

**jazbez: **Your question about Artemis's survival will now be answered! Thanks for the review! :)

**Gimpyslair: **Thanks! I will keep writing! :)

**thelastfangirl: **Umm okay I'll try to explain my reasoning behind this story. The name _Alice _comes from the fact that both the Crock sisters love Alice in Wonderland. Jade took up the name Cheshire and in this case Artemis chose the alias Alice which I'm assuming was a little inside joke between the pair. So when Artemis is stabbed by Jade who doesn't know it's her until L'gann calls her Alice. Other than that you just have Artemis thinking about good and bad and what actually defines them now that she has infiltrated Black Manta with Kaldur. I hope that helps clear things up. Let me know if there's anything else.

**Spitfire16: **Your wish is my command :)

**koolio14: **Thanks for reviewing!

**girlofathousandstorys: **Thanks for the support and the review!

**Irenerb: **Thanks for reviewing!

_Thanks to the silent reviewers!_

_Inspired by the song: Swallowed by the Sea by Coldplay (awesome Spitfire music video to the song by MusicalChaos05)_

___Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or it's characters._  


_**A/N:** I usually use the name Buster when describing Wally and Artemis's dog in this story I have used the name Nelson which was coined by the fantastic author Brella, Intrajanelle, and countless others. So yeah not my name - I take no credit. I have used Nelson in this story because it better fits with the feelings I was trying to convey. _

* * *

**Swallowed by the Sea**

* * *

On land hundreds of miles away from the battlefield the story is not so different. No one has ever seen Wally sit still for so long. Ever. He's barely moved, barely eaten and Jade is no better. Jade is more surprising even. She's a cold-blooded killer who regrets an attack on someone that everyone on the team hated. But all she can do is sit there wide eyed and stunned. Eventually though after they've been sitting like statues for two hours on the couch, for some obscure reason, she moves her hand over and grips Wally's tightly – and Wally doesn't shake the hand away.

Lagoon Boy hadn't even returned with them. He'd gone home to Atlantis after yelling angrily at a mute and bizarrely terrified Cheshire.

_"She's a good one! A good one! Just on the wrong side!" _The words pass over the team with vivid clarity. Their drive to hurt Aqualad for hurting them had blinded them. They weren't supposed kill people. They weren't supposed to aim to kill. They were supposed to capture, punish, but never hurt not even if the individual deserved it.

When Nightwing enters he acknowledges no one and merely stands in front of Wally and appears to gesture for him to follow. Even though neither of them have talked to each other since the funeral no one's in the mood to question this peculiar arrangement or development. There's something in the way that Wally grips Cheshire's hand that makes Nightwing sigh and nod as they both follow him from the room. Conner knows something's up when they enter the briefing room – the only room designed to block his super hearing. He tries to listen anyway.

"She's alive." Dick states pulling the mask from his face and rubbing his eyes tiredly. He doesn't really care that Cheshire will see him. He's pretty sure she knows who he is by now. Wally slumps against the wall breathing deeply and tears are streaming down his face.

"_She's alive." _He whispers it like a broken prayer. Like it's his only tether now to sanity.

Jade rips her hand away from Wally's, "I want in." She glares at both boys with venom, "This nonsense has got to stop. I need to know who I'm fighting." They both look between them.

"How much do you know?" asks Richard.

"She's my fucking sister who decided to use the name Alice as an alias – an alias we created. I just stabbed her with enough jellyfish poison to kill ten men. I'm the fucking Cheshire Cat now tell me why you've sent Alice down the rabbit hole into this perverted Wonderland?"

"Seriously," groans Wally, "Metaphors, really?" Jade just glares at him.

"I just stabbed my own sister in revenge for my sister's "_death_" and you choose to focus on my literary prowess?" There's a pause.

"Tell her," states Wally.

"But," begins Dick.

"Just," snaps Wally defeated, "Tell her."

"Artemis and Kaldur are double agents."

"See," smirks a purring Jade, "Was that so hard?" But her face quickly stiffens and voice turns serious, "You're sure she's alright. I wasn't kidding about the poison. It was enough to slow an Atlantean down but more than enough to kill a human." Dick merely nods.

Now that the phase for worry has passed the three of them sit in intense, barely relieved, silence. At least until Jade shifts into righteous fury.

"All four of you are idiots."

"She's the one with the yellow glamour charm necklace."

"Idiots," and that's all Jade has to say on the matter.

* * *

When Artemis wakes up she harshly rasps. Not because she's in pain, because by God she's in pain, do these people not believe in painkillers? She rasps because all she can taste and feel is salt. It clings to her and sprinkles off her with every labored breath she takes. All she can do is desperately grope at her throat and make sure her necklace is still there. It is.

She also realizes she's practically topless and even though there are three Black Manta soliders in the med bay who also got injured in the skirmish she really doesn't care about modesty at the moment. She'd laugh if it didn't hurt so fucking much because all she can imagine is how Wally blushes every time she takes her top off – he so naively innocent.

But the salt is getting to her and she happily gulps the tea that is thrust beneath her nose. It tastes like hot seaweed. Figures. Artemis's eyes sweep to boy, because really he looks younger than her, who had handed her the gruesome beverage.

"Herbal medicine is great and all but do you perhaps have something a little stronger?"

The boy shakes his head apologetically, "No." Artemis looks at this scrawny, petrified creature before her and sits up grimacing. The boy startles and tries to get her to lie back down.

"You'll rip your stitches."

"You're afraid of me." The child because that's really all he is bites his lip and looks away.

"There's not much I'm not afraid of."

"That's a good answer," muses Artemis looking down at the mutilated skin and sloppy stitches on her stomach. Wally usually kisses her injuries saying corny, silly sweet nothings – things that never make sense. Things she sometimes didn't want to hear. "I'm afraid of the sea." The boy turns towards her, and even the other people in the ward appear to be greatly interested in what she has to say.

"But this is Black Manta's crew."

"I don't work for Black Manta. I work for Kaldur." She states pointedly, "My loyalty is to him and he is part of the sea so I must be too." None of them are aware of how true those words are. She loves Kaldur – like a brother. It's platonic. Like her relationship with Dick. The four of them are so close. That's probably the only reason Wally is allowing this plan to go ahead, the only reason she would have even agreed to this insane mission in the first place. She can accept the sea because at the moment it is all she has.

The boy accepts that. "He was the only one allowed to remove your clothes." Artemis doesn't know whether that's comforting or perverse.

"Good to know. You don't seem all that experienced." That earns her some guffaws and cackles from some of the other invalids and the boy merely flushes.

"She's got you pegged Gard," laughs one, "Finally. Someone with a sense of humor on this tub." Artemis smiles; then hisses when the pain decides to kick itself up a notch when she accidentally strains her stitches.

"Hey pipsqueak," called another waving a pack of cards, "Help the girl over. She might actually be good at cards." That's how Kaldur found them half an hour later playing poker on one of the bedside tables. Subtly balking at her still unclothed appearance he suavely threw a shirt at her and quietly asked to join the game. Artemis didn't comment when she recognized the shirt as Wally's.

* * *

Wally slams his body face first into the couch and winces when a lead pencil stabs him in the bicep. Of course when he manages to dredge out the offending weapon it's one of _her_ lead pencils. He stares at it blandly then promptly tosses it on the table and buries his head in a pillow. When had he become so pathetic?

They hadn't bothered to make friends. It would only make things harder later on. As far as anyone knew they were the eclectic couple who had Vietnamese Lit together. Wally is kind of thankful that everyone at Stanford at least will think his girlfriend is on some sort of student exchange (courtesy of Nightwing) – he's not sure if he could cope with looks of pity in his classes too. But still there had been no point in making friends Artemis was his whole world, anyway. Who else could he talk to about his insecurities regarding his superspeed and discuss his concerns about Roy without revealing who he was.

Wally groans gently kicking Nelson awake, if only for something to do to distract him. It had taken months to convince Artemis to get a dog together. Months. It wasn't that she hated the idea it was just so many things in her family had gone wrong and adding a life to their equation was just terrifying for her. But eventually she had relented if only for her sanity. Her boyfriend knew ever nerve to grate before she was ready to rip his head off. Wally has no idea how she'll react when he broaches the topic of children but the bottom line was the dog was literally their baby. It could not have been more spoiled with both his masters loving him literally to bits.

When he was a puppy Nelson had been so full of energy and life and took maniacal glee in torturing his poor owners by jumping on their bed at random intervals during the night and barking enthusiastically at anything that moved. But with age he preferred to lounge around their home asleep. Which Wally hadn't minded all that much until he was left in an empty apartment without Artemis's cheer and laughter.

Wally wraps his arms around the now startled and aggravated dog's neck and stares into his eyes envisioning an elderly man that he owed a phenomenal amount of his happiness to,

"What am I supposed to do Nelson? What am I supposed to do without her?"

The friendship between himself, Dick Kaldur, and sometimes possibly Roy was an unfathomable, unbreakable bond. They were the three who had challenged their mentors and dared to form Young Justice. They were the game changers – they always had been. So inevitably when he started dating Artemis she got drawn into their shenanigans as well. There were pranks on the Justice League, little covert missions, personal vendettas, sleepovers – she slowly became established in the dynamic of the threesome. Eventually taking the position of the missing archer. So when Tula had died and the four of them had been mourning and bitter and spitballing about how they could take the Light down from the inside Nightwing's random idea that Kaldur could infiltrate Black Manta had developed into an elaborate plan in the space of an hour. That was when Wally regretted allowing Artemis to join their ranks – because she wanted to go through with the insidious scheme. She claimed someone had to do something and that only the four of them could pull it off.

In its infancy the plan had seemed simple enough, boring even, compared to some of their more illustrious adventures. But the meticulous organization and timing required to pull it off required years of prep-work. As time wore on and each phase started and ended Wally got more and more antsy dreading the day when Artemis's role would take place. A role that for a long time Wally had adamantly fought against until he realized she was going through with it and he could either get on board or get off the love boat – he was really loving the cruise and was not ready to disembark.

Nothing terrified Wally more because than when he had no control over the situation. Already their deception had cost them. Dick had lied to Zatanna. Kaldur had been labeled a traitor. Artemis had been hurt. Badly. Enough that Kaldur had broken their agreed upon silence to get them a message that she had survived Jade's attack. But even the message was hardly comforting just two black letters on paper. _O.K._ That was all. Wally had cried as he stared at that sheet of paper.

Things are harder without Artemis around. Harder and colder and less fun. Way less _fun_.

Nelson seems to be tiring of the mundane staring contest sniffing in Wally's face annoyingly before jumping off the couch and trotting towards the bedroom – his other favorite place to sleep when his master decided to bother him.

"Traitor," yells Wally slumping back down on the couch and tossing an arm over his eyes, "_Traitor._" He isn't happy. He can't be happy. He should be happy. All these pointless phrases dance in his head but the reality is he hasn't been single for so long that it doesn't feel natural anymore. At some point in their relationship it stopped being her and him and he and she and became us, we, them. They were a packaged deal. A pair. The peanut butter to his jelly so to speak and you don't just break that kind of connection without some sort of backlash or residual damage. It just became a really boring sandwich.

Wally trusts Kaldur. It's the rest of the crew he has a problem with. Artemis, even with the glamour charm on, must still be attractive because L'gann is about as shallow as a puddle and then some. He doesn't bother with things like personality or skills he wants a girl with looks. Wally's fists clench half-heartedly he had kissed Artemis or Artemis had kissed him. He's still fuzzy on the details because he can only tolerate about five seconds of Lagoon Boy's sea-faring drivel before he has to run to the nearest toilet and hurl. Can the boy not chew with his mouth closed?

He slides his hand down his face. He's got three papers to finish. But what's the point? Because of Artemis's impromptu vacation they won't graduate together like they promised. So many broken promises and hopes and dreams. He'll deal with the essays tomorrow and he vaguely ponders when their home got so big and cavernous because it never felt so empty before.

Wally stands and looks at the stove apprehensively. That's one adventure he'll deal with another day. He isn't hungry though – not in the physical sense anyways. How is it possible that in her absence his libido has decided to kick it up a notch and produce an insane amount of unnecessary and unneeded hormones. His body has a sick sense of humor.

Every single little mundane thing sets him off. He's pretty positive that last week he said a soliloquy to her toothbrush just because it reminded him of her very devious, yet oh so lovely, tongue. That had required a very cold shower.

He fishes through the freezer until he pulls out a gallon sized tube of Rocky Road ice cream. Grabbing a spoon – okay a ladle. He drops the frozen tub heavily on the table before slumping into a chair to poke at the creamy, delicious contents. _Great, _he thinks wryly, _I'm turning into a girl. _Then tears prickle at the corners of his eyes._ Complete with cry fests._

* * *

Artemis has finally figured out how to navigate through the ship. It's a harrowing task but now she can find her room without getting lost within the labyrinth lof hallways. People talk to her now. Good morning. Good night. Normal conversations. It's scary – and it shouldn't be. But she's getting attached and that will only lead to problems. The wound still bothers her (or at least she imagines it does) so that she can continue to wear Wally's shirt because it's loose and baggy and doesn't pull or rub her stitches. It's a nasty scar. The stitches were done by someone who was mediocre at best but Artemis supposes she's thankful to be alive more than anything and it will be her mark for the sins she will commit against, dare she say it, her new found friends.

Then, unexpectedly, she meets him. Black Manta. In all his fiendish glory. He stands before her and Artemis freezes mentally trying to remember if she's supposed to salute or bow or fist pump him or something. That would be a great thing on her tombstone _deceased because she failed to do the super-secret handshake with the Black Manta. _However, before she can even begin some sort of gesture of acknowledgement and respect the man speaks first.

"You are Kaldur'ahm's acquaintance, yes?" Artemis bites down on her tongue. She's not quite sure what 'acquaintance' in this scenario means. So far every member of the crew she's talked to has a completely different story for why she's here. Debt of gratitude, lover, friend, hostage the list goes on but what matters right now is she doesn't mess up this conversation.

God she hates meeting the parents.

Meeting the Wests had been a nightmare because with them it was a whole production – grandparents, aunt and uncle, mom and dad. Lots of pointed and embarrassing questions she couldn't escape. When they had asked her if she was still a virgin Artemis had wanted to crawl into a hole and die. This time is not much different.

"Yes, sir."

The man chuckles slightly, "There is no need to be so formal."

"You are superior officer and I can only address you formally." The man nods understandingly.

"Knowing one's place and purpose is good," he responds kindly (she didn't even know criminals were capable of that tone of voice – her father had never possessed it), "Come walk with me." There she is Artemis, infiltrator of Black Manta, walking around with a murderer who appears be a concerned, caring individual. Why is this so messed up? Why can't he hit her? Insult her? Do something that will make this easier when this all ends. She wants to hate him. She has to hate him.

They amble down some arbitrary hallways until they enter a large gallery where one wall is made entirely of glass. For a moment she'd forgotten they were underwater and she mentally panics hand automatically grasping her rebreather frantically as they stare out into the unfathomable depths darker than night that surrounds them. _I'm going to die. _The thought flits across her mind but she squashes it – for now.

"What do you think of Kaldur'ahm?" asks the man. His hands are folded behind his back as he stares out into the darkness.

"He is a loyal friend and honorable warrior. He will follow through on orders and never take credit where it is not due, sir." All these things are true. There's no need to make them up. Kaldur was all these things and more. He'd make impossible sacrifices to protect those he cared about.

"I agree," the man says pensively, "I could not ask for a better son." Artemis gulps. It's heartbreaking. This man here cares for his offspring. Artemis wonders and honestly believes that if her father had said two kind words she would have happily joined the Shadows and fought against the people she was now allied with. Maybe someday she'll tell him – because that would just eat him up inside. Two words she would have been his mindless puppet. But her own family matters aside the man before her cares, her stomach twists tightly.

"I understand you managed to wound Kid Flash and protected Kaldur'ahm during an earlier fight; you have my thanks."

"Thanks is not necessary sir. I am loyal to him."

"He made a wise choice in you." The guilt is going to eat her alive. She is deceiving this man – albeit evil man but is she any better than him at this point? Artemis decides there is no way to respond to that statement without either being sarcastic, because she's a horrible choice really, or being insulting.

The man pats her on the shoulder. It's a hand stained with blood. Blood of her own friends that have fallen but she doesn't shake it off. Then he's gone and she rigidly stands in place until Kaldur finally finds her just staring blankly out the glass.

"He's your father," she states empathetically her voice heavy with an emotion that has coated the inside of her throat so thickly she finds it hard to breathe.

"He is." They're so alike she realizes. They're both natural born leaders. They're both inhumanly handsome. They're both strong and rough yet warm at the same time.

"How can you," she pauses to collect herself and lick her lips, "do this to him?" Kaldur closes his eyes. His webbed fingers finding hers as he squeezes. Black Manta's a good father, twisted and wrong, but good. She was never given that luxury yet Kaldur would willingly give it up.

"I remember what he did. He hurt my mother. He hurt my king. He hurt my queen. He _killed_ Tula. These things remind me of why I must do this." As he guides her back to her quarters Artemis feels sick it's like she's trapped in a fucking Disney movie. God, M'gann had made her sit through every single one when she had found out she had never watched them either. She hears Mulan's stupid little motto '_duty or heart and I decided my duty was to my heart.' _It's all rainbows and hugs and kisses and crap. But this decision – this one – will kill Kaldur. While Artemis's mind grapples trying to find some solution to this god awful scenario Artemis swears she sees a flicker of green gills at the edge of the glass pane. But then again – she's going insane.

* * *

When L'gann returns to Happy Harbor he is the farthest thing from happy. He sourly sits through the team debriefing arms crossed and stewing silently. Kid Flash is there and is the only one whose depression is enough to overshadow the fish's dour mood. It's only when the meeting is about to conclude that L'gann stands vehemently,

"I want to track down Black Manta."

"Dismissed," breezes Nightwing attempting to completely ignore L'gann's blatant statement. It isn't easy – especially when L'gann decides to balloon to his super powered size.

"I said," he grinds out, "I want to track down Black Manta."

"There's no purpose."

"Of course there is. They kill one of us and then will kill one of them," he looks pointedly at Cheshire, "Someone has to make a move to fix this, chum. Unlike some I can't walk around with a guilty conscience."

"I won't regret killing you," bites Cheshire blades swinging.

"I say let's go fishing." Everyone tenses as they look at Wally. Wally who probably wants to take down Kaldur and the Black Manta more than anyone. Wally who is completely ruled by his emotions to the point where his rage blinds him. Wally who has been the hurt the most.

"You can't be serious," blurts Nightwing not at all pleased. This is seriously throwing a wrench in their elaborate and well thought out plan.

"I'm allowed to acknowledge when someone, even as dumb as fish paste there, has a decent idea." Nightwing shoots Wally a look that teeters between anguish and anger.

"No."

There's a beat and then Miss Martian raises her hand, "I would also like to hunt down Black Manta it seems counter productive to simply wait for them to appear. Kaldur needs to captured as soon as possible so he can pay for his crimes." Dick drops his head in his hands. Why did he want to rescue the accursed Lagoon Boy again?

"I said no."

"I think you're out voted," states Conner standing and slamming his fist on the table. "I'm sick and tired of waiting around." The slits in Nightwing's mask narrow as he glares at the team.

"How do you propose to find Black Manta?" asks Nightwing desperately trying to delay their plan.

"I've already found it." L'gann just shrugs at everyone's impertinent disbelieving gazes, "What. I've been labeled the water guy so I did what I did best. I swam."

* * *

_Please review :) Was this chapter worth the $99 I paid to get it back?  
_


	3. For All Those Nights I Can't Remember

Hi everyone! I finally found some time to work on this story in-between work, collabs, and just crazy life stuff. So this serves a lot of functions. One, I wanted to update something this week. Two, I was thinking of what I could do for the yjheadcanon fanfiction contest and I was reading headcanons and saw **257 **prompted by **the-burrito **and went '_yes I can do something with that. That will make people cry and suffer emotional trauma.' _Three, **_iloveyou-iknow _**who wanted to see how Wally dealt with his libido... although it really only touches on it a little bit. Therefore, I'm treating this as Chapter 2.5 (it also could be a standalone oneshot) because it's Wally centric and the story so far has been mostly Artemis's POV. Just want to give a shout out to _**intrajanelle, **_my very good friend, who kindly told me that I should post it and that this chapter was way better than I thought it was.

_**257. The weeks after Artemis faked her death were home to some of the worst nightmares Wally had ever had. Even before she faked her death Wally constantly had nightmares of Artemis dying- mainly having to do with the Failsafe excercise. These nightmares worsened when she left, only each time Wally woke up, Artemis wasn't asleep beside him.**_

So I'm going to take the time to thank the reviewers before they all start hurtling stuff at me...By the way you all are awesome for reviewing! (There is a scary number of people who like this story.)

**FallForAnything: **AH, thank you for the compliments. I actually not sure about my characterization I'm always too worried that I push them too far in one direction and completely miss another part of their personality. It's sweet that you think it is well written. Thank you for reviewing it means a lot!

**Guest: **Yeah, getting this chapter back was probably one of my smarter ideas. :)

**Menthe Fresh: **There's no need to pay me all the compliments I received are enough. Thanks for the review.

**My Own Mayday Parade: **It's no sweat. I'm just glad none of my files got corrupted because that would have been tragic if I paid the money and then got nothing in return. Instead I got lots of nice reviews and supportive comments. As always receiving your reviews is a pleasure.

**IronicVeghead: **Wait no longer the next chapter is here! ;)

**GIRLWONDER: **Thanks, getting your review makes it worth it.

**SpitfireChick: **No problem you were very encouraging during my period of _lost files _(I was literally crying). Thanks as always for your reviews and support.

**Keepmovingforward2: **Thanks for the review!

**anonjon: **Yeah I think my opinion of L'gann is basically they should dump him in a desert and leave him there. Sorry it has to be done. I really am hoping there is some focus on Kaldur and Artemis in the show (I'm beginning to doubt that this is a kid show I mean look at Depths - blood, death, angst) versus them popping up and skipping back to the team when the mission is over. You are very sweet. I love receiving your reviews!

**DxS4ever: **Thanks for reviewing!

**Weegie-Queegie: **I'm glad you enjoyed the bit about the kisses - I enjoyed writing it. Yes I was very lucky then none of my files got corrupted I just calmly (well if agonized crying and screaming counts as calmly) ejected my corrupted disk and made not attempt to meddle with because I am not that good of a tech buff. I've come to learn that getting the software instead of messing further with the device is the better way to go. I look forward to receiving more reviews from you!

**Capw8543: **I will keep writing. Thanks for the encouragement.

**randommonkeyz998: **There's still more probably not more than five chapters but more is coming. If I can ever finish any of the stories I start. Looks away in shame.

**M: **I'm glad you enjoyed the ending :)

**Samian: **Wait no longer here is the next chapter. It's always a pleasure to talk to you - you have a very sympathetic ear and give great advice to wandering, insane person that is myself. As always thanks for the review and being a great friend.

**YJ: **Thanks. It's a different writing style and I constantly find myself shifting back to third person but it's a challenge and I just can't back down from it because I doubt the story would have the same impact if it was written in the past tense. Yeah, L'gann is my least favorite character but I'm trying to give him some personality (and a friend) just as once again a challenge. Thanks for reviewing!

**fixati0ns: **Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm sorry about your stories. It's always a bummer when it happens. Thanks for reviewing!

**j9162: **Wait no longer. The next chapter is here. Always a pleasure to receive your reviews.

**leafysummers: **I'm sorry about your term paper. I hate when technology fails people like that. It just really sucks. I hope you enjoy the upcoming twists. :)

**Summer Frost 13: **Sorry I didn't hurt L'gann in this chapter I doubt I'll physically hurt him in the upcoming chapters (that doesn't mean there won't be mental anguish ;) ). I agree with your opinion though take L'gann and leave him in a desert. Thanks for reviewing!

**SunnyBunnylove77: **Thanks for the review and lovely compliments!

**Ally Marton: **Hello there. There are actually quite a lot of little softwares you can download to retrieve files that get stuck on corrupted devices. The one I paid $99 for was called Boomerang (both PC and Mac). So long as the files on the disk aren't corrupt I managed to retrieve all the data that was stuck on my USB. It's even better if you have tech friend but currently all mine were on vacation so I had to settle for purchasing the software. I'm glad you like the Cheshire bits she adds some much needed humor to the darker undertones of the piece. I loved your little PS brought a smile to my face. :)

**sam the deadly nightshade: **I'm glad I exceeded your expectations. It probably won't go beyond five chapters but I keep getting ideas...so we'll see. Thanks for reviewing!

**Jazbez: **Ah you picked up on Artemis's condition. You are very perceptive. I'm sorry you woke your mom up...I hope it wasn't too serious an offense. :) Thanks for reviewing!

**WnQT: **That's smart to email your assignments. I usually back my up on my computer and an external hard drive but my USB decided to stop working when I was doing my back ups o_o. I hope your studying is going well and I'm sure you did fantastic on your exams/tests etc. Thanks for the review!

**Mad3lina: **Thanks for the review!

**Hybrid301: **I'm glad you're looking forward to it ;) I am too once I manage to write what's trapped in my head.

**Ama Uzume: **Thank you for all the lovely compliments. I'm glad you like my AU story and enjoy my writing. It's getting responses from people like you that makes the hard work worth it. Thank you for reviewing!

**Irenerb: **Thanks for the review!

**Whitewolfmoon: **Yes the dog is named after Kent Nelson but I believe there were a couple of authors already who were using that name for the dog for that intended purpose so it's really not my idea. Thanks for the review!

**sunflower13: **I wonder if the fandom could vote a YJ character off the show..mmm. As always thanks for reviewing!

_Thanks to the silent reviewers!_

_Inspired by the song: Swallowed by the Sea by Coldplay (awesome Spitfire music video to the song by MusicalChaos05)_

___Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or it's characters._

_**WARNING:**_ _I am absolutely serious there is __**character death**__ and **angst**. This story is very, very dark even for me. So please if you're uncomfortable with graphic scenes don't read it. (As an added precaution complimentary tissues for everyone - that's how dark it is. I'm giving them out before I receive the reviews.)_

* * *

**Chapter 2.5 (For All Those Nights I Can't Remember)**

* * *

_It's silent and cold. Real cold. Wally can't figure out why it's so cold or so quiet. If there's one thing his life isn't is noiseless. There's always his non-stop talking mother nattering away about this or that while miscellaneous relatives putter in and out of the house, add the fact that the TV is __**always **__on at his house so that they can catch everyone of his Aunt's newscasts (or one of Uncle Barry's heroic endeavors) and it's a veritable cacophony of noise. At the cave there's always sounds of movement _–_ grunts from training, M'gann clanging pots when she cooks, spells being cast by Zatanna before they go awry, Robin's cackle, and Artemis's scathing comments, even when they're on stealth missions he always has the comfort of chewing to fill the void of audibility. So the fact that he hears nothing is almost as scary as the fact that he appears alone in a desolate white empty land._

_ When he looks down he's startled to see he's fifteen again and he's decked out in his Kid Flash attire _–_ he was pretty sure he was twenty-one and retired but maybe that had all been a dream. But it had been a pretty vivid dream and you usually don't get those kind of mature dreams till you grow up a little. At fifteen you're supposed to be dreaming of girls and prom (or in his case food) not your future married life with the blonde archer you have yet to decide if you hate or if the stirring in your stomach isn't from disgust but rapture at her beauty when she sails past you or when you see that secret little smile that settles on her lips when she hears a particularly funny joke. _

_Artemis. In his dream he'd been in love with her or it was what he imagined __**love **__felt like anyway because he had crazily let her go under deep cover with a band of murderers literally at the bottom of the sea _–_ one of the few places he couldn't get to her or contact her or hold her or anything really and where death was literally two inches of thick steel away. He figured the only reason he could have possibly trusted her hollow words_ 'what could go wrong' _was because he __**loved**__ her and knew letting her do this would make her happy. It was practically a suicide mission and she'd already been on one of those if you count the ruse they had used to smokescreen their true intentions. But now that he thought about it that had to have been a dream. Aqualad evil. Roy with a hobo-esque physique. Him dating Artemis. Maybe individually these things were believable but all together _–_ no that dreamscape was just too unfathomable to believe._

_ But it had felt so real. He stares out at the white before him. He can run. He should run look for help, find them, the team, anyone actually. He just wants something to ward off the pervasive silence. _

_ A blood curdling scream slices through the air _–_ he was wrong. That wasn't what he wanted at all._

_ Then the world shifts. He lurches backwards and all of a sudden there's no longer white but red. He's standing in a red pool or maybe he's sitting in it... he's not sure because there's Artemis lying there hair matted with blood, lips broken and open no longer capable of movement. Then there's a black ship (it kind of looks like a demented bioship), it's menacing and sinister and vaguely reminds him of an alien ship he saw in another dream but he can't place it because his head is so full of shouting and his mouth refuses to cooperate and form the syllables so his yells build up in his skull and the pressure mounts _–_ he's being strangled by his own unheard howls. _

_ Artemis still hasn't moved. Even when the ship lands beside her prone form and these horrible green creatures crawl out. They've got these beady little eyes and only four fingers on each hand. Their bodies hunch over in a peculiar way that makes them appear broken. Wally swears vainly in his head he'll never eat a gallon of ice cream before bed again if he can just wake up and not have to see anymore. He just wants to wake up! He'll say sorry to Robin for rigging the computer to say his nickname every time he zetas in because everyone just thinks he's being rude. He'll talk to Supey more and flirt less with M'gann because he knows how much this irks the Kryptonian. He'll listen to Aqualad more. He'll ask Artemis out on the date they've both been subtly hinting at for months between hand brushing and bickering. He'll do all this and more if this hallucination would just go away. Because it can't be true. It can't be!_

_ The aliens, because that's what they must be, approach Artemis's body laid out in the rapidly staining snow and begin to eat her. First, small tentative bites than massive yawning mouths unhinge chewing through her flesh. Wally tries to tear his eyes away because he could have prevented this, if he had just been quicker, if he had just moved faster. Why can't he ever be fast enough? Why can't he ever just move when it matters? Is he always going to be stuck as nothing more than Uncle Barry's freakshow sidekick? He wants to hurl as with frozen fixation he watches the beings feast on his friend. Then he blinks and they're gone. The ship is gone and it's just him, a skeleton, and an ocean of blood. _

_ Should he be relieved that they spared him? Relieved that he's alive and Artemis is dead? Something feels wrong about this whole scenario like it doesn't match up with what he can't seem to remember but he's too far gone to care. Now he moves; as on shaky legs he stumbles toward the bones. _

_ He feels like a guest in his own body like someone else is pulling the strings. It isn't until he bends over and picks up the skull and brings it up to eye level and stares into the hollows that once held the most empathetic stormy irises in the world that he believes he is no different than the monsters who did this, and he could quite possibly be even sicker than them, when he utters with curled lip and savage malignancy, "**Souvenir.**"_

* * *

"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Wally screams pushing off the mattress so fast he literally barrels headfirst off the bed, the sheets following after him. He doesn't even register any of this as his eyes bore into the plush carpet while he braces himself on his hands and knees dry retching. He's completely covered in sweat and doesn't even bother to question what the wetness in his nether regions is. All of a sudden Wally's head jerks up and he throws his body at the foot of the bed,

"Artemis!" he frantically cries as his eyes roam the expansive mattress, "Artemis!" Nelson stares at his master and whines from his new position on floor – a result of being violently thrown off the bed by Wally's thrashing. Wally ignores him while he desperately begins to look around the room for his missing lover and then he sees it. The black suit from when he attended her funeral over a month ago (he still hasn't laundered it.) Funeral. The word takes a moment to register with him and then it's like his consciousness has been dumped back into his brain because he remembers. He **was **twenty-one. He **was **dating Artemis; but the most important fact was that she was alive, maybe not well, but alive. His stomach unclenches a little and his short quick pants even out a bit. It was a nightmare. That was all it was and he shouldn't let it bother him this much.

Swallowing thickly Wally tiredly pulls the sheets from the floor and remade the bed – he doubts he could go back to sleep anyway. Even though only a few hours ago he received an update on Artemis's condition from Aqualad and he knows she's okay. It's foolish and childish he has, he stares at the clock on the night-stand, class in two hours and he doesn't even want to think about the finals that are fast approaching but he just can't think about any of that right now. He scrubs tiredly at his face sighing. He's been having nightmares for years. They're not anything new. It would be more bizarre if someone on the team wasn't suffering from them given the things they have seen and _done_. However, since Artemis left they've progressively grown more vivid and that one was particularly gruesome.

The disadvantage to having worked in heroics as long as he has is that every depraved, insane act that no decent human being would ever commit (or think of committing) seems all the more probable when placed in the craniums of some of the most psychotic people to ever crawl out of the backwaters of society and Artemis is pretty much rubbing elbows with those lunatics. In his dreams he's watched Artemis die countless ways, the failsafe exercise a constant flagship – a reminder of what he had once lost and could never regain. But he had learned to deal with these night terrors in a very mature fashion – poke his girlfriend awake so he could make out with her. However, he doesn't even have that luxury anymore. There's no more cantankerous Artemis asking him drearily, drowsily why he's trying to suffocate her with his lips at two in the morning.

He moves into the kitchen. He should probably eat something. Not that food holds flavor for him without her around to tease him about his eating habits and add an insane amount of pepper to everything; it's become more of a chore now really and he knows when she comes back she's going to kill him for all the take-out he's eaten. He rummages around in the freezer searching for the last frozen container of Chicken Phở. He deserves it.

Artemis for all intents and purposes was an excellent cook. The numerous cookbooks she had collected from rummage sales and used bookstores stood at attention on the counter on the right side of the fridge some of the pages were stained and others were marked with colorful sticky notes. She had poured over those books trying various recipes until they were perfected and overtime he had acquired a taste for Vietnamese cuisine because not only did it taste fantastic and was filling but it made Artemis beautifully happy when he ate the dishes her mother had taught her how to prepare with the authentic flavors of her homeland and complimented her mercilessly about them. In the weeks leading up to her departure she had diligently cooked dish after dish placing them in the fridge or freezer for his later consumption. She'd also with painstaking care written out foolproof instructions for him about how to prepare some of his favorite (simple) dishes most of them involving the microwave so that he didn't burn the place down. Wally knew how to operate a microwave; him and the device were old chums. Dumping the frozen broth into a bowl he stuffs the sustenance into the device and hits defrost before collapsing into a chair, however, he fails to notice the lavender piece of paper which falls from the tub onto the floor by his feet. Wally doesn't notice this unassuming piece of paper at the moment because he's staring across the table at her empty spot, a corner of the table is gone from when she was experimenting with an acid arrow and it accidentally spilled onto the polished surface eating through the wood in seconds. He manages a smile.

Wally's eyes strayed to one the cabinets where at the back hidden in an old food coloring box is what Dick had called a _burner communicator _his one free call to his girlfriend at the bottom of the sea. But there's a five minute time limit or else someone might detect the signal and it works both ways, if she doesn't pick up he'll have wasted their only call. He's not that desperate. Yet. Besides he believes he's beyond the comfort that hearing her voice would bring. He's practically listened to her voice on his voicemail so many times that there are permanent sticky thumbprints on the surface of his iPhone. No hearing her isn't enough anymore. He needs to feel her, touch her, hold her, press his nose into her hair and bask in being surrounded by her. Wally groans this isn't helping him at all. Just thinking about her flushes his body with heat and he has to struggle to try and maintain some sort of semblance over his hormones. Fuck.

The ding of the microwave is enough to distract any more blood from rushing south and although food is a major turn on for Wally (he attempts not to think about that one time with Artemis and the _cans _of whipped cream) he's a practical person food before sex – most of the time. Although the prospect of eating Artemis's preserved home cooking might just have aphrodisiac properties.

He pulls the simmering bowl out of the microwave ignoring when the hot broth sloshes over and scalds his hand. But he pays the stinging pain no heed. Just smelling it is enough to make his stomach gurgle and it almost makes him forget the horrific nightmare that is the catalyst for this early morning snack. He dips his fork into the Phở and twirls the utensil around in order to collect some bits of chicken, noodles, and other garnishes. Artemis and her mother had attempted to teach him how to use chopsticks but when he had gotten so frustrated that he began using them more as over sized toothpicks to stab at his food they both decided that conventional fork and spoon was the way to go.

Once the first forkful reaches his lips he goes from sated to ravenous as he lowers his face so close to the bowl the steam makes him sweat and his nose is practically skimming the murky surface of the soup in order for his fork to move the shortest distance possible to his mouth at least until he starts to choke and he slams the bowl against the table his fork skittering across the wooden surface.

Wally's eyes water as he leans forward between his knees hacking and coughing attempting to dislodge whatever he has foolishly let get snagged in his windpipe. It's then that he finally notices the little lavender note, it's a little damp from where the frost from the freezer has melted and the print is small and sparse but he can clearly see written in Artemis' loopy cursive two words _Chew. Idiot. _ He feels the piece of chicken or noodle or whatever free itself and slide the rest of the way down to land heavily in his stomach. He tentatively reaches down and retrieves the note holding it tenderly between his fingers. He's been finding these slips of paper everywhere. Little notes and reminders about doing the laundry and washing the dishes. Sometimes he finds them in his textbooks and they'll telling him to study or wish him good luck.

This is when he feels the pang of remorse settle even heavier because she always did so much for him. She's not even here and she's still comforting him, coddling him, and what's he doing? Sitting up on land happy as a calm. Perfectly safe and away from danger. He goes to school, visits the team, is actually for once, getting along with her sister. He's practically Uncle Wally to the newly revealed Lian Harper. Ollie and Dinah keep inviting him over for dinner and his mother won't leave her devastated baby alone.

But he prefers to visit Artemis's mother because when she talks to him it's sometimes in Vietnamese and he can barely understand what she's saying but it feels a lot more like home because Artemis used to talk to him like that so he could get a better grasp of the language. Her mother doesn't blame the team or him for her daughter's demise nor does she openly cry on his shoulder. She just talks to him. When he had first started dating Artemis he had eagerly listened to the ex-con's stories fascinated by the thought process of the _other _side and sometimes he could recognize that the world wasn't as black and white as he had always believed and there was a lot of unchartered gray that everyone had to muddle through. So, yeah, Artemis's mom is sad but at least she doesn't treat him like a charity case even if the guilt of not being able to tell her that her precious daughter is alive claws at his stomach every time he goes to visit. At least she has Lian to coo over now – that takes away some of the sting.

Wally looks at the note and back at the almost empty bowl. He's lost his appetite so he stands and lumbers toward the calendar. Every date has been meticulously filled with cramped writing with both their daily schedules outlined in colorful inks. He's gotten into the habit of sticking the notes to the calendar when he finds them so she can make fun of how long it took him to collect them. He rereads them sometimes when he's feeling particularly down. He stares at the calendar for a moment because he realizes that Artemis's scrawl no longer dots the month because she's _not_ there. Her writing is so expressive it dips and curves eloquently when she's writing _o _or _b _yet is sharp and jagged when she crosses her _t's _and jots down an _a. _Just looking at how she writes her name reminds him of the landscape of her body, sharp yet bending. Oh he's done it now. He looks down and groans. At least since he's awake he has more than enough time for a _long _cold shower and a quick call to Dick to figure out when they're next making contact with Artemis...and Aqualad. But now he has a problem to deal with and he stares at his hand and doesn't know whether it would be better to imagine it was someone else's or just get the deed done. In the end he's left even more frustrated than before, with the whispers of the nightmare still gripping at his subconscious.

The nightmare changes a week later. Just when he had managed to rein in his emotions enough that when he woke up alone and distraught he didn't loose his head like the first time the horrible tundra and cannibalistic dream had come to him. It's cruel when the nightmare changes. It's like it's mocking him and his loneliness. Saying he's gotten used to the previous one so they need to up the dosage. He supposes morbidly that it wouldn't be a nightmare if he died in it – because that would be a sweet release from his problems.

* * *

_Wally is pretty sure he's dreaming when he wakes up and he's eighteen. He remembers going to bed at least three years older than that. But he might be suffering from a concussion because his head is pounding and it feels like it's going to split open as he blearily looks around. It's dark and he's wet. Neither are uncommon things but together they do raise some questions. He's not sure what's soaked him because of the lack of illumination but it's seeping through his uniform and infrared doesn't really tell him what he's looking at beyond a large black stain. He also realizes he's missing a glove but he's not that concerned about it. He wants to know why he's alone and why he's wet and why it's dark._

_ At least it's not so bad _–_ he still has possession of his motor functions and he can hear the dull hum of machinery, "Guys? Hello?" He voices echoes around the cavernous room. His nervousness mounts when he gets no response. How did he even end up alone? The team always split into pairs or triplets _–_ but at least pairs._

_ "Hello?" he calls again more earnestly, "Anyone?" He thinks he hears a noise somewhere to his right but its so dark he doesn't dare venture down that ominous hallway. As he treks further he wonders what he's doing here. He can't remember anything. The substance is starting to bother him now. It's dried and itching and he scratches distractedly at his arm. At least it's something to do. _

_ He finally, mercifully, hears voices when he turns what feels like the hundredth corner. He's startled to find himself back where he started. That doesn't make any sense but then again maybe it's just a room that looks exactly the same. That's possible right? Everyone is standing rigid surrounding something he can't see. There's a shadow of remembrance, like he's seen this scene before. _

_ "Hey!" he calls finally finding the will to put on a burst of speed but he's effectively blocked when everyone turns still blocking his line of vision their faces are grave and drawn. _

_ "KF what happened?" _

_ "What are you guys talking about?" Robin surveys him warily._

_ "You're," M'gann's voice flutters in the darkness nothing more than a bodiless murmur, "Covered in blood." Wally looks at them skeptically._

_ "That's ridiculous," he begins before Robin snaps a glow stick and a small circle of light appears and he can finally look down at himself and see that the curious substance is actually blood and his yellow uniform is stained with it. His eyebrows furrow but he's not bleeding. He struggles to remember what happened _–_ remember anything that happened before the pain in his head settled there._

_ There's some frantic typing as Robin hacks into the security sensors and attempts to salvage the video feed _–_ the screen lighting his face with mysterious, sinister shadows as the video crackles to life on the holographic monitor. No one has let him see beyond their stoic forms yet but he has become utterly transfixed as he watches the screen reveal the battle he's completely forgotten. _

_ He's there, obviously, and then there's Artemis _–_ his not so secret girlfriend or as Robin likes to so aptly call their relationship_ the denial express._ They're both fighting _–_ him the Joker (he's not at all paying attention to the fact that he appears to be losing) and Artemis appears to be facing off against Harley. It's dark so there are only glimpses and flashes as bits of their uniforms catch the sparse light. _

_ There's something familiar about what he's witnessing but it doesn't even feel like his story _–_ like it belongs to someone else. But he doesn't dwell on that thought long as he watches himself fight on the display. Then it happens. His form on the screen is thrown back by the Joker over a control console and mercifully yet tragically his glove gets snagged on one of the levers stopping his body before it's violently thrown towards the ground. He still can't remember anything. He still can't understand what's happening but things have been set in motion now that his weight is pulling on the switch. Although his mini-self on the screen isn't aware but as the Joker yanks him up and throws him towards the ground and he blacks out from the impact he's activated the steam roller which silently inches towards Artemis's fighting form. Her back is turned. It's too late when she realizes - Wally looks away. Even at the end she didn't make a sound._

_ He doesn't bother looking around the team, he knows what lies beyond them. He doesn't want to know. This can't be happening. It's impossible. He just lay there and let it happen. He lay there in her blood. _

_ It's all wrong. He looks up attempting to choke back the tears by sheer force of gravity and then he sees it _–_ waving like a flag, hanging from the handle, his red glove. _

_ He's uncovered hand clenches. He's going to be sick._

* * *

Wally vomits this time – he doesn't make it to the bathroom (and he has superspeed.) He leans over the side of the bed and heaves before he looks at Artemis's side of the bed prepared to give her a sheepish apology and then he realizes she isn't there, hasn't been there for over a month plus some and he drops his face into the pillow muffling his screams. He knows it's going to stain the carpet but, sweet exothermic reaction, where the hell did his subconscious get that morbid scenario from? What's even worse is it meant that somehow he was actually capable of thinking something so demented and psychotic up. That was some sort of warped version of Tula's death and at that time he'd merely been an outsider. He hadn't even been there. He'd just stumbled upon the numb, dumb form of a rigid quiverless Artemis who didn't even seem to recognize him as she stared with dull gray eyes straight ahead at Aquagirl's broken form and listened to Kaldur's howls of agony. It had taken months, **months, **before Artemis finally told anyone other than Batman what had happened in that warehouse. It hadn't been pretty. Wally would never repeat that story. Ever. He'd thrown out the souvenir from that mission – a gear. Wally would like to say that had been the reason they left heroics but the straw that broke the camel's back was when Sportsmaster had captured him (he somehow managed to kidnap him from his own school) and broken his left leg in three different places – he'd never admit it but a broken femur ripped through tender flesh **had **to hurt worse than childbirth, there was no way the miracle of life was more painful than the excruciating agony of having your bone torn slowly through your leg as it was bent at an unnatural angle by a maniac.

The deciding factor had been when Artemis had almost beaten her father to death. They'd had to tie her up in order to stop her assault. She was aiming for the kill and nothing, not even him, could have stopped her bloodlust. That had been it. No more costume. No more team. He had been perfectly okay with that. There was no way he'd ever catch his Uncle now; even superhealing hadn't been enough to completely heal his leg.

He doesn't even realize he's wrenching open the cabinet door till he's shoved everything aside and is shaking the metallic communicator into his hand from the box, then he stills. He's not even the one in danger. He's not going to waste the call on himself. Wally breathes deeply and then with languid movements places the communicator back in the box and returns the cabinet's contents to their original order. He can't be this pathetic.

Nelson whines from his position on the couch staring at Wally with sleepy eyes.

"Sorry boy," he mutters before his eyes stray to the calendar and he swallows thickly it's been exactly six weeks since Artemis went undercover. He squints penciled into the calendar is her mother's birthday. It's tomorrow. He'll go see Paula. She'll like that, he'll bring cake. Maybe he'll phone Jade (he's in serious trouble because she's actually on his speed dial now) and ask her to come too. Paula would love to see Lian, the first truly innocent child in the Crock family. Of course the little girl will be adorable and smear cake all over her face and make a mess. The family might even bring the real Speedy along – he's pretty much become Lian's big brother because Cheshire gets immense pleasure from getting to push both the Harper males around. It'll be nice to have a birthday party admit the chaos of his life.

He grabs the mop and bucket from the closet and marches towards the bedroom. He can imagine Artemis bent over just a little at the waist when she sweeps the floor – he immediately begins to think of as many disgusting things as possible because he's getting turned on. He curses himself mentally berating his body.

He's kind of relieved when he pushes the door open and the smell of vomit reaches his nose instead of Artemis's because, for a moment, the bedroom seems less hollow and empty and he might be able to imagine that he lives here alone and is just a geeky college senior. All of a sudden he feels devoid of energy like the nightmare has decided to grace him with an encore. Exhausted he discards the cleaning implements and flops down on the bed. But he doesn't go to sleep – because reality might suck but in his dreams he has no escape or hope.

* * *

_ When Dick tells him the news that Artemis is coming back and the mission is over Wally literally whoops for joy and proceeds to race around the mountain at breakneck speed. No one can quite understand where the depressed speedster had suddenly gotten his joviality from but an elated Wally was better than a mopey Wally so no one really questions it _–_ most of them think the man has officially lost his mind. Wally couldn't care less. He even manages to ignore the niggle of doubt that suggests that this is too good to be true. Wasn't it only yesterday that he had fought her guised form?_

_ But Wally ignores everything and anxiously waits for the date of their final confrontation with Black Manta when they would pull Kaldur and, more importantly, Artemis out. It comes soon enough and it feels almost if he's literally just blinked and then he's engaging in battle on the murky shoreline, ankle deep in wet sand. He spots Artemis a dozen meters away and he charges towards her. He wants so desperately to pick her up and spin her around but there will be time later for_ pleasantries.

_They could quite literally see freedom as he and Artemis fight through the Black Manta soldiers that block their path to the bioship. Artemis hasn't yet had an opportunity to remove the glamor charm but it doesn't really matter since he already had the ability to distinguish her from his foes. He's so happy, okay fighting for his life wasn't fantastic, but she was coming home! Artemis is coming back! No more waking up alone. No more cold, empty apartment. No more pity looks from everyone. As an added bonus, sex. Yup. There would be lots of sex to make up for the last few months. He has her back. But Wally's elation takes a back-seat as another onslaught of black clad men attack him._

_ "How you holding up, beautiful?" he chortles. The situation may be dangerous and bullets are whizzing by his head at an alarming speed but having Artemis pressed against his back as she kicks ass is such a pleasant feeling he can't help but laugh at little._

_ "Peachy, babe. You?" He is pretty sure she's just pinched his bottom as she twirls away to deliver a vicious kick to an assailant's head. _

_ "Never better." Then he hears, well he isn't quite sure what he hears, but it sounds archaic. It's kind of reminiscent of one Dr. Fate's spells he had witnessed years ago but there was something darker and more sinister to the way the words were uttered and distorted. Almost instantly a wave of power ripples through the air, knocking Wally backwards, onto the ground. Then all of a sudden Artemis is in front of him (even though he could have sworn she was just behind him) she bends down and offers him her hand so he can stand up. All he can think in that moment is that she's beautiful and she's all his. All their work has finally paid off and she's back where she belongs. Then the picture shatters when his beloved receives a swift kick in the abdomen by a solider that has all of a sudden charged at her. Wally sees red. One inch. He was no more than a breath away from finally holding her hand again and this bastard had the gall to injure her. No. No, this ends now. _

_ The Black Manta solider is screaming angrily and hitting Artemis in every available spot when he yanks him from her. He's shocked at how light this heavily armored man is and something tweaks in his subconscious as if trying to tell him that something is not quite right. It's peculiar because the man he's hoisted into the air isn't attacking him or fighting back or even struggling in what he can only imagine is his incredible painful grasp they just appear confused. He hears a cough and looks at Artemis's bleeding battered form and whatever doubts he was having are thrown to the wind. He ignores his mind's questions and blocks out his morals. He's just that livid. All he can see is Artemis's contorted expression of pain and her bloodied lips. _

_ He vibrates his hand. In his spare time while she's been away (he's had a lot of pent up energy) he's been training relentlessly and finally mastered the skill _– _especially since Bart-the-pain-in-his-ass can do it and it drives him insane. This scum won't hurt anyone again, especially not Artemis. No, never Artemis. It's disturbing how quickly he's sunken to this point. When had he ever entertained the notion that he was capable of feeling this way or thinking this way?_

_ He feels like he's on autopilot because he has the vaguest sensation that he is watching this happen from somewhere far away but he's conscious of every single one of his movements as his hands purposefully passes through armor, then skin, then muscle, then bone and finally flutter against the pulsating muscle at the core of this disgusting human being who beats women and hurts people. _

_ He presses inward not at all queasy as his fist closes around the beating article. The solider looks at him muted horror registering on their face. Then Wally clenches and the solider spasms and falls limp. Wally doesn't even register the fact that he feels no remorse for what he's done. He doesn't even acknowledge it as wrong. He drops the man and spins around to run toward his fallen lover._

_ There's a cackle as he rushes towards Artemis's form, the blood dripping from his hand turns cold as he recognizes the voice. Stopping short he watches transfixed as the injured Artemis transforms into the adolescent, black clad form of Klarion who laughs manically._

_ "That was too good," he trills. There's a scream from behind Wally and with dread he turns around to see the team is standing beside the crumpled form of the solider he'd...he'd killed because they hurt Artemis _– _only the Artemis he had protected wasn't real. _

_ "You think I wouldn't recognize a glamor charm," sneers Klarion as he stands Teekl weaves between his feet, "Just a few words and the charm was just as useless to you as it was to everyone else."_

_ "No. **NO!**" screams Wally leaping at Artemis's prone bloodied form. What has he done? "Artemis! Artemis! I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry! Wake up! Please wake up!" He can't blame Klarion. He wants to but he can't. He did this. He's allowed himself to change into this indescribable monster capable of...murder and the worse part is he still feels nothing._

* * *

Wally runs to Mount Justice. He's just that badly shaken and he can't stay in the apartment anymore, not like this. Not after **that.** Not when he knows Artemis isn't there to offer him any form comfort even though her smell still lingers on the sheets. Before he can blink he's there and he doesn't want to have to deal with everyone's looks of pity and their condolences because they look at him like he's broken – and maybe they're right but still he doesn't want to have to deal with Conner acting like he has emotions, and M'gann touching at his mind; Rocket and Zatanna reminding him about all her nuances. So after the voice announces his arrival (because it's apparently practical to wake people up at this ungodly hour) he makes a beeline to the Souvenir Room.

He presses his forehead against one of the cedar shelves and screws his eyes closed as he attempts to even his erratic breathing and then his hand reaches up scrapping along the top shelf until it touches the cool shaft of Artemis's melted arrow and pulls it down and places it squarely in his field of vision. It's there. It's physical. It hasn't all been a dream. Artemis is real and alive and breathing. Artemis is still, and always has been, the love of his life. He feels a crooked smile settle on his face as he closes his eyes and pushes his forehead even harder against the wood.

"Hey!" exclaims a voice, "Put that down!" It's Garfield. He doesn't look as hairy as usual more boy than beast at the moment but he's still grim and his fists are up because it's dark and Wally's only wearing pajama pants and a pair of sneakers and probably looks really suspicious.

"It's me," he says simply eyes still not straying from the arrow in case it disappears.

"Oh," flounders Gar before shuffling nervously on his feet, no one knows quite how to deal with Wally at the moment and since Beast Boy's the youngest it's even harder, "Oh, er, noted." Wally clenches the arrow before deciding to take pity on the boy – it's not even his fault anyway.

"It's alright monkey man," it was a nickname he used to call the lad when he joined the team both because it drove Superboy insane but also because it made Garfield smile, "The collection's grown, huh?"

"Yeah," the boy steps into the room closer to him, this is safe territory, "I try to get a new one every mission I even got one from when we visited Rann. Off world ya know, cool. You always use to visit to ask me about my scores." He finishes lamely. Wally knows he hasn't been around much and he can empathize with the boy; he probably really does feel like a beast confined to the Cave like an animal – at least M'gann can shape shift and go outside, Garfield can't even do that. He's green.

"Well I'll be around more now. Promise." It may be the truth but it doesn't sound very convincing, even to his ears.

"I'm sorry," Garfield says sputtering. Of all the people on the team (excluding Dick) he's probably the only one who's suffered a lost as great as his and his was real. Wally feels terrible and petty and hates himself – here he is acting like a total resentful, mournful prick and someone who watched his own mother be murdered is trying to comfort him. If Artemis was around she'd slap him upside the head.

"I know Gar," breathes Wally swallowing thickly finally pushing away from the shelves. He hasn't felt this calm in ages, "Can I take this?" Garfield frowns and looks a little affronted at Wally for desecrating the sacred Souvenir Collection but eventually nods.

"That was the _first _souvenir," he emphasizes before he looks at the ground slightly ashamed, "Artemis was really cool." Beast Boy knew all the stories about the souvenirs. When Wally had made him curator and keeper of the collection he had listened enthralled as Kid Flash described where each souvenir came from and it's significance to the team – it was nice to have an audience who appreciated the them.

Wally smiles wanly. "Yeah, she saved my sorry butt twice with this arrow."

"Noted." It's nice to talk to Garfield. He's nice and his skin is the same color as Artemis's _real _uniform.

"Hey Gar?" The boy looks at him curiously eyes wide and blinking.

"How about you tell me all about the new souvenirs you've gotten since I've last been here?" The boy brightens at the prospect and excitedly begins reciting the stories, gestating wildly. As the lad drones on it eventually becomes a dull hum to Wally as he drifts into a restless sleep although he is vaguely aware that two distinctly hairy, ape-like arms encircle his body at some point and carry his limp form as he continues to clutch at the arrow.

When Wally wakes the next morning in his bed at the Cave and finds a packed suitcase at the foot of the bed and Nightwing sitting in the chair at his desk he sighs – resigning himself to his fate.

"You went to my apartment."

"You're having nightmares," states Dick because he's an expert at these things – he has a lot of practice.

"Maybe."

"You'll be staying here and commuting to Stanford," says Dick disregarding his answer completely. Wally doesn't bother protesting as he twirls the shaft of Artemis's arrow between his fingers.

"The dog?"

"Superboy."

"How long?"

"Till I think you're fit to leave." Wally pulls a face because it's pretty pathetic that a boy two years younger than him is treating him like a mental patient. Then he feels something small and hard hit the side of his head and plop onto the bed. It's a burner communicator that looks suspiciously like the one stashed at the apartment.

"Everyone cares Wally," says Dick sighing, "Call Artemis. You look like shit."

"But she might not be there and she might not want to talk to me and it's so pathetic to be calling her because I had a bad dream and I'm not sure I'm ready to hear her voice and resist the urge to buy a row boat and just madly attempt to get to her and – " Dick rests his hands in the time-out position and looks at him seriously.

"I'm pretty sure she'll be there. You're not the only one_ suffering_ here Wally," his face dissolves into a smirk, "Besides she might be able to help relieve your little problem." Wally looks down and flushes as the prominent tent in the sheets. Great. His best friend has seen his morning wood. He doesn't bother adjusting himself because Dick probably already took a picture – the troll.

He's about to provide another feeble protest but Nightwing is already gone. Stupid ninja. He blinks slowly and tentatively reaches for the communicator. He stares at it feeling the weight settle in his palm and his finger hovering over the _call _button. He forces his eyes shut as snippets of the last nightmare flood his mind. They've only escalated. First, he watched her die, then he was indirectly responsible for her death, and now, now he's _**killed**_ her in his dreams. This has to stop. He can't cope with this anymore Artemis no longer beside him to hum him Vietnamese lullabies, kiss him, hold him, run her hands over every plane of his body – so without any more hesitation he pushes down.

_Hello babe_, Artemis's voice rasps interrupted by the occasional static but overall strong and true. He can imagine her sultry smile and plump lips and he only feels himself heat up more. _I hear you've been having nightmares. Poor baby. _Newton, she was amazing.

"Babe, you know exactly what you're doing don't you?" How is she so perfect?

_Wally, _she hums,_ I love you and miss you - especially a distinct part of your anatomy._

Wally feels himself smile for the first time in what seems like forever. "I love you too. You have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice."

_How about we skip the formalities. I'm okay. You're okay. We're okay. We'll be together again soon but for now..._ She whispers dirty words and phrases that cause him to wind tighter and he knows the call is only five minutes and he shouldn't be wasting it like this but as he finally feels release it's like she's there beside him and her gentle breaths lovingly caress his ear through the device and he knows the nightmares will keep away because Artemis isn't going anywhere. Her voice crackles across the line before finally disappearing,

_Wally. _And things finally settle and Wally dreams.

* * *

_Please review... prepares to hand out tissues and dodged thrown articles...My imagination is a dangerous thing._


	4. Fire and Ice

Wow this took a very long time to update. An extremely long time. Anyways there will be only **one more chapter** after this one which I hope to update in early August so I can finish the story before the hiatus ends. It's exciting that Artemis appears to adopted the Tigress mantle even though she doesn't have a persona in this story so yeah now it's no longer following the possible Young Justice storyline.

Anyways let's thank all the awesome reviewers who've stuck with me through this period.

**Ms Mary-Mac2: ** I know the feeling. Sometimes technology really undermines the user. I've actually gotten a lot of comments that the nightmare was hard to distinguish from the rest of the story - I wonder if I should fix that but I guess making it so believable that it hurts means I've accomplished my purpose of inducing massive feels. Don't worry I don't plan on killing Artemis (I don't think I have it in me because I've made her and Wally suffer so much in this story.) Thanks for your lovely review and support.

**aprilpowers: **I'm glad you're enjoying the fic. Everyone is drowning feels I'm still recovering ;) I have to agree Wally and Artemis are both really stressed out but Wally probably more so because a) if something goes wrong he can't help her and b) he doesn't have the comfort of knowing if she's safe or among friends while Artemis at least knows he's being looked after by the entire Justice League. Hopefully by the end of this fic there will be happy ending. Enjoy! Thanks for reviewing!

**Mad3lina: **Have a tissue, or two, heck, take the whole box I've got loads. Thanks for reviewing.

**caitymae1992: **Your wish is granted.

**ShadowCatAlex: **I'm glad you liked the explanation but I'm not sure how happy I am with it. In other stories I've made other suggestions (everyone has their own theory) but this one just seems to fit the best for this story. I'm glad you saw the happy-ish ending I try to balance out my darkness with humor but we'll see if I manage to pull it off. Thanks for reviewing!

**Guest: **Thanks for reviewing! **Amazing! **I'm so flattered.

**Melissa Black13: **Thanks for reviewing! I'm going to try and work on the Archer and Me soon (no pressure I know things are hectic in both our lives right now.) Thanks for reviewing it means a lot! :)

**Samian: **Thanks my very good friend. The dreams were just a compilation of a lot of different ideas I've had about how Wally would feel in different scenarios they all stem from something that's happened mixed with something he fears greatly. Thanks as always for the kind review and your unwavering patience with my lack of response. :)

**My Own Mayday Parade: **Ah shucks. Save the love for your girlfriend and any new follower of the fandom is a welcome follower :) That is a massive compliment - best chapter written out of all my stories. Now I have to struggle to top it but I love a challenge. Best of luck! Enjoy the new chapter as well!

**Guest: **Thanks for the spelling correction it has been made. You totally rock for pointing it out :)

**Keepmovingforward2: **Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review!

**IronicVeghead: **Well I have to say there is only one more chapter after this. There will be a happy ending-ish but till we get there I think everyone will be riding my angst express. I'm terrible. As for the communicator sex I guess it was romantic although I was going more for raunchy but it does come off as that whole star crossed lovers with a libido. Thanks as always for the review!

**SpitfireChick: **Double reviews! Bonus points ;)! Thanks for the review!

**sunflower13: **I'm sorry I made you sad. Thanks for the review. I'll be sure to share your tissues.

**randommonkeyz998: **I'm glad I updated too. Now if only I could do it more often…

**overlyobsessedgirlfangirl: **Well I'm glad you enjoyed the angst I do try and give it some dark humor so it's not as depressing. I mean Wally is funny and quirky even when he's miserable so I've been trying to capture that. I'm glad you think I've managed to keep everyone in character. I still doubt I have but confirmation is always a good boost. Thanks for reviewing.

**Wolf skater: **It's sad because I have absolutely no control over my imagination or fingers. I sit down to write fluff and this is what I produce I am so ashamed… I hope you feel better. Have a tissue! Thanks for reviewing!

**Cerulean Apocalypse: **I'm flattered. Really that is so kind of you to say and you're picking up all the little nuances I've woven in so kudos to you. I tip my hat. I hope you don't find the chapters to long that's never my intention they just sort of end up that way by the time I'm finished. I really can't take credit for the name Nelson. A lot of other authors were using it before me. Thanks for reviewing and all your comments/compliments.

**anonjon: **Ah come back! Come back! Wait I'll get a shovel conserve oxygen and keep calm! I know the nightmares were horrible but probably the more disturbing part is where did I come up with them I was just walking along thinking about fluffy spitfire love and bam evil Wally and dead Artemis completely take over my mind. You really give me too much credit. Thanks for the reviewing and all the compliments.

**Menthe Fresh: **Thanks for the review!

**HeroTickle11: **Your wish is granted :)

**j9162: **I promise they'll be reunited soon just bear with me there will be spitfire love soon. Thanks for reviewing!

**Guest: **I hope no one ever has those nightmares. I'm sorry for causing residual effects of a feels tidal wave. Have a tissue!

**thelastfangirl: **Thanks for the review! Have a tissue - they're monogramed so you'll always remember who made you cry.

**fixations: **Your wish is granted…took me long enough. Thanks for the review!

**lolmak: **Here is the update. Not as awesome as later chapter but I hope it satisfies. Thanks for the review!

**Jazbez: **You make an excellent point. I'll have to remember that. No matter how far Wally runs his mind will always be there. Thanks, as always, for the review!

**Weegie-Queegie: **Wow that's a huge compliment. When people actually block out their lives to read your story you know you've accomplished something great. So thanks (although I hope you didn't get grounded or anything.) Thanks for reviewing!

**Irenerb: **How are you always the first one to review my stories? You deserve a huge prize for putting up with me and my procrastination. Thanks as always for the review.

_Thanks to the silent reviewers!_

_Inspired by the song: Swallowed by the Sea by Coldplay (awesome Spitfire music video to the song by MusicalChaos05)_

___Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or it's characters._

* * *

**Fire and Ice**

* * *

Artemis stares at the communicator expectantly before flinging it away. It's useless now. She hears a metallic ping as it hits a metal wall and ricochets to another part of her quarters skittering across the floor. She doesn't really care as she rolls over and buries her face in her pillow. _It wasn't enough. _Five minutes, five blessedly loving minutes, and now she only craves more. It's sick how much hearing Wally's voice just turns her on, it probably hadn't helped that for most of the conversation he'd been groaning and moaning as she huskily whispered naughty things in his ear driving him to _his _peak of satisfaction she had always had a sick fascination with watching him cum. Seeing his expression contort and become clouded with lust as she drove him wild. It was something that only she could do – she couldn't even enjoy that through the infuriating device.

Unfortunately, the side effect of their too short conversation was that she also got considerably hot and bothered and five minutes was nowhere near enough time for her; Wally had superspeed. She had a much slower motor. Artemis frowned and screwed her eyes shut trying to get rid of the warmth pooling under her navel, the tingle in her toes, and flushing in her cheeks.

Ugh. Now she's kind of pissed off at Wally.

She didn't know what she had been expecting when Kaldur had pulled her aside and quietly told her that Wally was a mess. She really didn't need the Atlantean to tell her; she lived with the man for Christ's sake she knew he left a disaster zone in his wake. At this point using superspeed in their tiny apartment had been banned because she did not want to have to rearrange _everything_ again. What she hadn't been expecting was to be told he was suffering from nightmares and barely eating (or as she was later informed gorging himself on fast food). Wally had always had nightmares, heck everyone on the team had nightmares (except M'gann for some reason), but he'd always bounced back easily waving them off as inconsequential. What she had failed to realize was that his nightmares appeared to always stem from her dying and now she "really" had. So she'd agreed to Nightwing's apparent proposition that her and her boyfriend have a little tête-à-tête to relieve some of his frustration. Lucky fuck.

The feeling of relief that had washed over Artemis when Wally's voice had crackled soothingly against her eardrum had been so astute and sudden it had almost knocked her breathless – was it possible to miss one human being that much? She didn't even miss her mother as much as Wally. There was a physical ache that had settled in her chest permanently since their separation. But now that the call was over it only hurt worse.

Rolling over Artemis lets out a string of curses shaking both her fists at the ceiling in anger and desperation. Why couldn't she have just said no? Then she wouldn't be here cold and alone and Wally-less she could be going to University, wrapped up in Wally arms, feeding the dog – nice things. Simple things. Things that didn't involve bloodshed or tears. Things that didn't involve heroing or heart ache. Her problem was she was still trying to atone for sins she had committed long before joining the team. Sins that no amount of heroism would ever level. She drives herself to keep fighting, to take every mission that comes her way, because she needs to clear the slate – even if it was impossible. The things she's done can never be whipped clean; no matter how many good deeds she does.

Satisfied that she had officially depressed herself enough to no longer need to relieve her sexual arousal Artemis arbitrarily scratches at the bridge of her nose before staring at her tan, lithe fingers – even now they were still riddled with calluses. She frowns sitting up suddenly eyes fixated on her fingers. Every single scar she remembers getting are still there even as she hurtles across the bed and into the bathroom leaning both palms against the sink as she stares at her reflection. _Artemis. _Artemis was still there looking back at her. All gray eyes and blonde hair.

Somedays it felt like she was chasing a shadow. Whether it was the original her or this new her, _Alice_, the woman she couldn't see, she wasn't sure, but sometimes when she wasn't looking and she passed by a reflective surface she swore she saw someone else. Someone…she couldn't describe because then they'd disappear to be replaced by the good, beloved Artemis Crock. She wasn't sure which one was the mask anymore; the one she saw in the mirror or the one she donned to survive? Was there even a difference?

Artemis scowls looking sadly in the mirror. She didn't like this. She didn't like beating up her friends. She didn't like being the bad guy. She didn't like not being her anymore. She couldn't even recognize herself. It was her staring back in the mirror but it wasn't her outside. That hurt too. Not as bad as the Wally ache which she was beginning to think was a slowly growing cavity in her heart that she'd have to get treated soon less she die of heartbreak – but still there was an almost warped feeling of untouchability no matter what she did she'd never stain the name of Artemis though she be her. Artemis cringes and feels a few droplets of blood swell on her bottom lip.

There was a little cut on the inside of Artemis's mouth from when Wally had been fleetingly kissing her during their scuffle on the beach a few weeks ago. In his attempt to kiss her cheek his mouth had gone astray and his teeth had accidentally torn the inside of her lip but she hadn't even noticed it till hours later when she had been frowning so hard that the scab had opened and she had unexpectedly tasted the copper substance. He probably hadn't even registered what he'd done. At his speed he probably hadn't even noticed, because he had once confessed that, to him, every part of her tasted the same. She still had yet to decide if she was insulted or flattered because apparently she tasted amazing.

But it had been over a month and the cut had yet to heal.

This was primarily because she kept biting her lip reopening it and then licking at it to ebb the pain – a bruise had begun to form around the laceration from her constant abuse but she couldn't bear to let it heal. It was a little reminder that he had been there. She clearly needed help. No wonder she was dating Wally; she was just as insane as he was. Artemis groaned pulling at her hair before dragging a hand tiredly down her face to pass fleetingly over the charm. She resisted the urge to tear the stupid thing off so that the face in the mirror matched what everyone else saw. She'd never much liked magic – it was either trickery or dangerous. No one should have the power to control things – Zatanna had done things with her abilities that had actually made Artemis physically sick.

Breathing deeply she looks back at her reflection, '_You can do this, Alice. You're Alice. Now go or you'll never leave this room.' _She missed her ponytail and her old uniform. She missed being her. If there was one thing that tortured Artemis was how many reflective surfaces there was on the ship but if she could just ignore them for a little while she wouldn't have to chase her reflection. Turning on her heel she quickly crosses the room instinctively tightening the charm around her neck and blindly began the trek to the cafeteria.

As she walks she muses how she got to this point. Artemis had been surprised with how much training was performed by Black Manta's crew (although she suspected Aqualad was partially responsible for the rigorous regime.) When the crew was not eating or sleeping they were training. She had quickly established her position as one of the most ruthless fighters on board when she had taken down the top twenty ranking soldiers on day one mercilessly breaking bones and drop kicking her opponents out of the ring – that might have contributed to why the underlings feared her still. She was not to be trifled with.

Things weren't too bad now. It was kind of fun actually, which was worse, because it made what she was going to do harder. Since that little meeting in the infirmary some people were actually approaching her. She chuckles darkly to herself it appeared that Gard, the little stringy nursemaid that he was, had taken a particular liking to her although just glaring at him was enough to get him to recoil with trepidation. However, before she can even enter the galley she feels a heavy pull on her arm. Instinctively she pulls the knife from her boot gripping the hilt so hard her knuckles turn white with strain – using a gun in a ship where death is inches away would be stupid. She doesn't want to puncture the hull even if she does have two rebreathers tied securely to her belt. They won't save her from the merciless ocean. A familiar hand grips her wrist as a sign of familiarity.

It's Kaldur.

Kaldur yanks her down a hallway and shoves her harshly into a closet. This is getting awfully repetitive and Artemis thinks that he has finally snapped under the pressure he's put himself under but what she's not expecting is for him to thrust a piece of paper under her nose. This would be kinky if it was Wally – pushing her against the wall of this utility closet, brooms knocked over as they frantically run their hands along each other's bodies; Artemis lets that thought settle for later.

"Uh, what's this?" she asks pulling the page far enough away from her face so that the minuscule type is actually legible.

"Read it," commands Kaldur placing his back against the wall. His arms are folded and his eyes closed – she's seen that arrangement and posture before and it never means anything good.

"What is it?" she asks again when Kaldur avoids the topic it's usually not something she wants to hear. _It's time. I'm sorry. It will be alright. _They're all hollow sentences with half-baked words of comfort that Artemis won't, can't, believe until she is once again wrapped in Wally's arm.

"They're coming."

"Who?" queries Artemis dumbly.

"Artemis," Aqualad's tone is grave and face solemn and Artemis swallows thickly struggling to process just what he is suggesting.

"You don't mean," Artemis explodes her voice echoing in the small space, "Those idiots."

"Apparently it was L'gann's idea."

"Of course it was fish bait's," snaps Artemis, "He doesn't have two brain cells to rub together." That's not true... but maybe it is. Who cares. They're all idiots for doing something so stupid.

"It was my understanding Kid Flash also supported the idea."

Artemis whips her face around to stare at Kaldur. Wally. _Of course. _This had his stupidity written all over it. That boy needed a babysitter. Only he could blow a delicately crafted plan so magnificently by agreeing with the new team imbecile to raid an underwater fortress full of armed mercenaries. She was going to knock some sense into him the next time she saw him – which seemed to have been expedited to a much closer date.

Artemis finally squints at the note taking in the tiny writing, '_We're coming. Sorry.' _He better be sorry.

"Plan?" she queries ready to follow orders like the good little solider she is.

"There is none."

"You're just going to let them waltz in here," sputters Artemis, "That's suicide."

"They have made their choice. We can only hope." Artemis's eyes widen at the insinuation – that is the darkest thing that has ever passed through Kaldur's lips. It's a startling change. He's not making a plan. He's not thinking of solution. He's just going to let them come. They will come and they will fight and at the end there will only be one winner and the rest will be in tears or _worse_. She stares at the metal wall directly in front of her ripping up the note bitterly and when there's nothing left to rip her nails dig into her skin but even that dull ache of pain doesn't register with her.

"You're bleeding," comments Kaldur. It is then that Artemis realizes she's split her lip open again from frowning so severely. Kaldur sighs. "There is nothing we can do on the matter. I will convene with you later if I receive more details." He moves towards the door a pensive frown etched on his face, "I believe it would be best if for this battle for you to wear Black Manta armor."

"Kaldur!" Artemis can feel an uncomfortable weight settle in her stomach, "That's preposterous. They won't know who I am."

"Do they need to know?" he ripostes. "Will it change anything?" There is such a undertone of defeat in his voice that Artemis questions if it is even Aqualad talking to her anymore or the shell he has become after so long an exposure to playing the role of indifference and malice. The perfect son. Artemis blanches unable to utter a syllable. "You will be fitted this evening." Artemis would smile at the almost adolescent tone of authority to his voice reminding her of her fifteen-year-old self conversing with the Atlantean about her bow's maintenance schedule. Then the door closes behind him and she's thrown into darkness. She pushes her forehead against the cool, metal surface attempting to compose herself - it might be better not to think about it. Just forget it and let it float away on the waves they're moored in. She doesn't know when they're coming. How they're coming. So maybe it's not worth the trouble worrying. Although this hair brained plan will be the end of everything. A battle beneath the waves and sea foam there's something very disturbing about duking it out where oxygen is scarce.

The door unexpectedly opens and she stares into the shocked face of a Manta guard. She steels herself; stormy eyes glaring with as much fire and brimstone as she can muster. She can't see the person's face behind the helmet but they vaguely point behind her,

"Mop," flounders the quivering individual flustered by her overbearing presence, "Er. There's a little leak and I...was Kaldur'ahm just in here...I just want a mop." Artemis violently grabs the article and shoves it into their chest not even blinking when her skin chaffs against the surprisingly rough exterior of the armor.

"Take it and fix it." She tries to ignore the image of the leak running one hand over the charm while the other flits to once again secure her rebreather. She then feels a little bad about her actions as the guard cowers and reaches out a hand to comfort the solider who immediately avoids it stepping back. Artemis's eyes widened and she looks at her bloody knuckles. So this is what she has become. Dad would be proud.

Her hand hangs empty in the air before she retracts it to her side and the black clad figure retreats. Artemis wonders how long it will be before rumors about this spread. How long it will be before someone puts two and two together. Looking both ways she pauses a moment to collect her bearings and reset her course for the cafeteria. Once she's sure she can make it there she let's her feet walk her there while her thoughts drift.

She can't believe that those idiots are going to engage in a water battle when only two members had the ability to actually breathe underwater. What could possibly make things worse was the fact that Aqualad was insisting she wear one of those standard issue Black Manta suits (a little too late if you asked her considering how long she'd been terrified of drowning in her sleep) this meant that the benefit of the glamor charm would be rendered virtually useless – she'd look just like every other solider. But the worst part about what is to come is she now knew the faces behind those masks and she knew she'd be the cause of all the causalities suffered during the fight – on both sides – how was she going to live with herself?

Before she knows it, and much too soon because nothing is yet figured out or fixed, Artemis is milling between tables tray in hand as her eyes scan the room for somewhere to sit. Preferably not near a window. She doesn't want near the glass if there's a leak somewhere or if _Alice _decides to torment her. Eventually she sees her friends from the med bay waving her down (she's still debating how she'll get back at Jade for that stunt – even if she had no idea who she was at the time there's a certain tit for tat that exists between the sisters).

"Hello ye'old sea dogs," she states dropping onto the bench knocking Gard's shoulder as she settles in beside him. It's funny. They're the ones turning the crew towards her and trying to repair her reputation. It's ironic that it makes her happy when it shouldn't.

"If I see sushi again after this it will be too soon," grumbled Gard miserably as he poked at the peculiar raw fish on his plate. "Honestly what I wouldn't give for a hamburger." That actually made Artemis smile a little bit as she imagined her ravenous boyfriend. The menu on board the submarine would probably have driven him insane – Wally was nothing if not a seasoned eater.

She stares at the occupants of the table a question eating away at her as she shoves the food around her plate.

"What do I look like?" she asks bluntly. She's not sure why she asks it. But she wants to know because all she ever sees in the mirror is herself and she wants to know the criminal she's created. She wants to know the face that sends terror through her peers – the shadow she's been chasing. _Alice. _All four occupants of the table stare at her – Gard has his fork halfway to his mouth (Artemis almost suspects that she sees the fish moves at its' halted ascent), another man Talon as he likes to be called although she's pretty sure someone called him Bob a few days ago kind of gives her a muted look of confusion (she's pretty sure he's married so he must know there's no right answer when a woman asks you how she looks) and the other two just stare at her dumbly like she just asked if they were underwater. One might be named Aubrey but she isn't sure. She hasn't bothered to make many friends that didn't bother to talk to her first.

Gard's the first to break the stalemate when his food slips off his fork and makes a dull thud back on the plate, "What?"

"What do I look like?" she reiterates impatiently.

"You don't know?" shoots back Gard saucily. She can see Talon face palm behind Gard's shoulder, yup, definitely married or _was_.

"Humor me brat," because really Gard is only fifteen and can't be expected to understand women yet. Heck, she doesn't even understand women and she is one. Artemis is assaulted with the sad thought that he might never get the chance to suffer the torture (and occasional bliss of love.)

"Er," Gard pulls a face as he scrutinizes her, "You look pretty." Artemis rolls her eyes.

"Physical attributes. You know hair, eye color, complexion, etc." She desperately hopes she looks as ugly on the outside as she feels on the inside. She wants them to say she is a twisted, sickly creature that would curdle milk with her sneer. Someone that no one could possibly love – she wants to physically embody the traitor of friends, lovers, and families. She wants to be hideous. The other three occupants watch the exchange silently probably too scared of what she'll do to them if they get the answer wrong – they've seen her fight.

"You've got black hair," he pauses, "It's ebony." Oh, great. Adjectives. "Grey eyes and you're white I guess." Artemis frowns. Caucasian. She supposes it would be the easiest way to hide her prominent facial features and confuse anyone who recognized her fighting style but she'd always enjoyed being different – her olive skin taut across the angular planes of her face that she'd inherited from her mother. "Actually you look kind of manly. You know if you didn't have boobs."

Artemis chuckles without even realizing, "You sound like my boyfriend." In any other situation Artemis would clamp a hand over her mouth or attempt to retract the statement but if she does than it'll be too obvious. Of all the stupid things to say she mentally berates herself. So instead she merely shoves the vile seafood into her mouth and chews acting like she hasn't said anything at all. Although Artemis isn't sure whether to be relieved or offended at the shocked faces that surround her at the table.

"**You **have a boyfriend. I'm not sure whether to be sick or intrigued," states the unnamed occupant at the table who she met in the infirmary.

"Ha! Pay up I told you she was dating Kaldur'ahm," the other nameless face jibes digging their elbow into the man's side.

"I'm not dating Kaldur," states Artemis. _Stupid! _Why! Why! Why! If she just said she was dating Aqualad then they'd drop the subject because she knows bored men are no better than gossiping women when they actually have something to tease you about.

"Oh fascinating," prods the first man, Talon and Gard have been surprisingly quiet, "Let me guess he was the one who gave you that tacky necklace. Only a dude could pick out something that ugly."

"Are you talking from experience?" interjects Talon.

"Hey, no need to get prissy. Just saying criminals don't usually have boyfriends. Tough thing to bring home to the parents if you know what I mean." She wonders what their reactions would be if she told them her boyfriend is a hero, a good guy – the one they seem to think is in the wrong.

"Hey is he on the ship?" questions the one who had thought she was dating Kaldur.

"This isn't twenty questions about my love life," snaps Artemis.

"So yes to on the ship?"

"Stop," commands Gard finally finding his voice (although she's never heard him act or sound so authoritative,) "It ain't any of your business."

"I hope you're aware that if you're dating the pipsqueak that's practically cradle robbing," guffaws the other man. Artemis pulls a face and stands.

"I'm done." It's not just the food or the teasing or any of it that gets to her. Not anymore. Artemis is just so tired of lying. These are decent people and she shudders to think what the consequences will be after the Team gets here. The occupants of the table send her askew glances and there's worry etched on their features. One of the nameless men quickly stands,

"Look if I offended you in some way –"

"Can it," snaps Artemis, "I'm just done. Okay. Done." She spins on her heel and heads out of the canteen. Fists clenching and unclenching. God, she hates herself. All of a sudden there's a commotion and people are rushing forward dragging her along as well, like driftwood on the sea and when she finally settles she's in the docking bay and a ship has surfaced.

In any other case she wouldn't even pay attention – it's probably another regiment of soldiers but she's startled when it's Sportsmaster, Icicle Jr., and Vandal Savage that disembark from the tiny craft. Artemis's hands fly to her neck instinctively and she claws at the glamor charm savagely. It's an act of comfort and preservation. _What are they doing here? _She backs away from the gathering crowd but it only seems to push her forward until she finds herself settled beside Kaldur and Black Manta as they greet the _guests._

"Welcome friends," begins Black Manta guiding the men away down an arbitrary hallway leaving Icicle to linger (he isn't worth their time.) He looks around until his eyes alight on her form. He leers at her.

"And who are you?" he asks grinning cheekily. Artemis scoffs crossing her arms.

"Out of your league," she bites.

"They all say that babe," he sneers leaning forward. Artemis considers punching him in the face or possibly pulling down his pants to see if he still wears _Hello Kitty _boxers. They'd grown up together. She knows these things about him – even if she hasn't seen him since that one time in the juvenile detention center. He's never handled change well. Artemis ponders if he's dated anyone since _them _or what had been loosely labeled as two fourteen year olds' crazy escape from psychotic parents. In a sick way Cameron reminds her of Wally – the adolescent, upstart who thought he was God's gift to women. Wally's evolved. Cameron hasn't. It explains a lot.

However, before Artemis can inflict any or all of the tortures that are dancing through her mind a firm tattooed arm enters the narrow space between the pair. The Atlantean tattoos stand out stark on his skin. He's paled not being in the sun because he's been forced to hide in the murk and mud like a bottom feeder. They're a permanent reminder of what he was. Kaldur the leader whose face to now etched in criminal galleries while hers remains unmarred because of _Alice. _Kaldur is more worthy of a hero's title then she'll ever be.

"Welcome," states Kaldur warningly eyes trained on the tick that's developing at the corner of her jaw (he always had a knack for reading her tells.) "I am Kaldur'ahm and this is Alice."

"Pretty name for a pretty girl," croons Cameron waving off Aqualad's introduction entirely but Artemis shivers; and it's not from the cold the man is radiating but instead from the underlying tone in his voice the one that hints that he might be able to read the situation better then either of them had ever supposed.

"People call me Icicle." Artemis snorts rolling her eyes.

"That's a little presumptuous isn't it _Junior_."

His eyes flare with frozen flames, "For someone who I've never even heard of you're awfully mouthy."

A sick sort of shit-eating smirk settles on her face, "The fact that you haven't heard of me means that I actually get the job done, jailbird."

"Enough," interjects Kaldur now stepping physically between them in an attempt to stop the thickening animosity, "Would you like a tour of the ship?" Cameron looks around blandly, the corner of his eyes still trained on her.

"Nah. Seen one ship you've seen them all. But I would _love," _he sends a wink and sleazy smile her way, "To train. Show off my skills." Artemis hasn't been feeling any sort of seasickness for days but all of a sudden she feels nauseous at the criminals grotesque innuendo.

"Training is an excellent idea," the voice of Black Manta booms entering the hull again accompanied by his two companions, "Alice is an excellent fighter and the top assassin on this ship after my son. It would be most interesting to see you two spar. Meta versus mortal." The other two men seem moderately interested – and that's what Artemis is afraid of as the older dark skinned man ushers the group down a maze of hallways until they arrive in the training room; when people pay attention they notice things and her father is particularly good at that. He trained her. Every weapon, every move was manufactured by him to make her into his little killing machine – his _baby girl. _He's her creator, as messed up as that sounds; every puppet master knows his puppet.

But then they're in the middle of the room and a hush settles and Cameron – one of the most infuriating jerks she has ever had the misfortune of meeting is circling her.

"I'll go easy on you," he cackles manically, "A little." Cameron always talked too much, plus he never bothered to change his moves. He's never been a fantastic fighter always relying more on his skills than his strength or his mind. Quick-witted has never ever been used to describe him.

She easily dodges as ice attack and continues running weaving and twirling away from his bursts of ice because as much as he wished he control the ice once it was in momentum Cameron had never practiced and each attack could only follow its set course. Artemis considers using her guns just to send a little jolt of fear through the blue skinned moron but her own fears that she'll somehow damage the ship forces her to abandon the option of watching Cameron wet his pants. So instead she continues to evade his attacks and draw nearer and nearer on the defensive forcing Icicle Jr. to slowly retreat as all his icicles go awry. Artemis sees her opening and levels a to vicious punch to his face followed by a roundhouse kick that knocks him to the floor. Then she's on him, blade pressed to his jugular, as she glares down at him victoriously and then with sickening dread she sees realization dawn on his face. You never forget how someone kicked your face in. This was how she, Artemis, had taken him down during every single one of their play dates when their parents pitted them against each other to see who had the better child. Sportsmaster did always say his daughters were a thousand times better then any of the male spawn produced by his associates. Great. Of all things her father wasn't – a chauvinist.

However, all Artemis can think in that frozen moment where it feels like Cameron's icy blues are piercing right through her facade. Is that he knows. _He knows. _

But he says nothing.

Quiet applause reaches her ears as she looks up to see the unexpectedly proud face of Black Manta and the mildly impressed faces of Savage and _her father _– who for some reason hasn't registered what he's just witnessed. Maybe he's getting senile – although the likelihood of that is so ludicrous Artemis discards it all together. Either he doesn't know or he's not talking and for now she'll have to accept that as safety.

Neither party has moved and Artemis presses down on Cameron's windpipe with unbridled strength desperately trying to stop whatever words are welling up in his throat – she doesn't want to hear them. Not when she's at the bottom of the sea. Not when she hasn't seen Wally. Not when she could be frozen, skewered, snapped, or drowned (killed any multiple of ways really. The possibilities are endless and literally only inches away from where she lies.)

For three seconds her life flashes before her eyes and she wonders how she got there. Disguised as someone she doesn't even know, trapped beneath the ocean playing a role she didn't want to play, and surrounded by her ex-family and friends that she actually physically loathes. She eases the pressure on Icicle Jr.'s throat for a moment and expects him to sing like a canary but instead she hears him rasp,

"Rematch." Artemis gulps staring at the unreadable expression on his face. Of all times for Cameron is develop a personality. "Private rematch. I don't want to ruin your reputation." That's a double entendre if she's ever heard one.

Black Manta seems to accept that clearly intent on showing Vandal and Sporty the rest of his ship as he guides them towards the door instructing Kaldur to clear the room so that the two can spar in peace. Artemis can barely hold down the bile that thickens in her throat when Black Manta beams, fucking to God beams proudly, at her and Kaldur before leaving. She's a horrible person and he's a good man (an evil one she berates herself as she mentally reminds herself) and God _everything _is so fucked up.

"Pressing a little hard there, babe," gasps Cameron gesturing to his neck. Artemis slackens her hold and gets up stepping towards Kaldur the only other person in the room and _**her **_ally. That's important.

Artemis blurts, "I'm not playing games with you." Junior gets up lips curled as she turns her back intent on leaving.

"I know you," states Icicle Jr. frigidly. She halts. "You might be able to fool this motley crew but I know **you.**" Artemis says nothing, her back remains turned as she chooses to ignore the cool boy instead of inciting his prodding.

"I knew you couldn't just simply leave," he presses, "Nobody ever just leaves." Kaldur looks skeptically between the pair as Junior circles Artemis. The Atlantean can tell she is losing her patience. There's something between them. Something palpable and thick. Something one of them is trying to acknowledge while the other ignores. This is personal so he steps back. It is not his place to pry.

The boy lunges and Artemis fluidly dodges before knocking him back with her knee clipping his chin. He crumples to the ground.

"I left. Cameron," sneers Artemis staring down at him eyes flaming, "I came back to finish a job. It's _temporary_." The man scoffs.

"How will you go back?" Cameron asks brokenly pulling himself up.

"What does it matter?" spits Artemis icily, "We aren't even friends."

"You said it. Not me!" he ripostes testily.

Artemis's temper flares. It would have been so easy if she could love Cameron. If for those few months of ice cold touches and vengeful whispers she could have seen Cameron as more than a prepubescent punk she would be on the right side, wrong side, she doesn't even know anymore. She doesn't even know if it matters either. If she had loved him (like he apparently had claimed to love her in a drunken, piteous letter he had written her once) maybe she could have turned her back on the life she created and chosen him. Chosen crime. But those weren't choices. She'd worked hard to become who she was – scratching and clawing herself away from her family history. Sides didn't matter. Her friends mattered. Wally mattered and so long as she was on his side she wasn't going to lose. Ever.

The pair circles each other for at least ten minutes before Cameron simply raises his hands in mock surrender and back away. "I can't do anymore damage then you've already done," he states. "I won't tell," he interjects before Artemis can shoot her mouth off sneering bitterly. "_Alice. _Your secret is safe with me. But you're an idiot to give up the freedom you won. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Shut up Cameron! I had to do this."

He sweeps a glance at Kaldur. "You did too I suppose. How nice it is to be able to hide behind justice as an excuse."

"It's not an excuse," hisses Artemis vehemently cracking her knuckles. Then she bitterly realizes it is. In the name of _justice _she'll hurt the innocent. _Justice _is her mantle and she wears it like shield.

"Says she who's hiding behind a mask," taunts Cameron sadly, "You're not even _you_ anymore. I wouldn't have even recognized you if it wasn't for your nasty right hook. You can't hide everything behind your illustrious facade." The world was coming to an end. Cameron was making sense.

"It's not your concern," gripes Artemis, "Just shut your pie hole and leave."

Cameron just looks at her. Stares and stares as if he's ripping through the enchantment and seeing the twisted obscured creature she has become. "We're allies now. Equals. Pick a side and stick with it." He turns to leave but actually whips around last minute to appraise her, "You don't deserve to be here _Artemis. _What gives you the right?" Then he's crossing the room and throwing the door open and disappearing wordlessly behind the silently closing metal.

"I take it you two know each other," comments Kaldur dryly his hands have been twitching at his water bearers for sometime. It's scary to think he'd be willing to kill, to hurt, to maim to protect their cover. It's scary to think he's changed that much.

"We dated. We were friends." If Kaldur's judging gaze means anything he does not elaborate merely choosing another line of inquiry.

"And does Wally know that you dated Icicle Jr.?" questions Kaldur concerned that she has not shared such a detail with someone who has bared his entire soul to her. Wally who was never one for holding back or aloofness where his true feelings were concerned – once he got over his denial of course.

"Does he know I dated the popsicle? Yeah. Told him when we were seventeen." Artemis lets out some forced chuckles trying to ebb the tension that's compounded in the air. "Should have seen the way his eyes bugged out at all my conquests; Mr. Full-of-Himself had only ever kissed **one** girl. On a dare." The chuckles cease and her voice cracks. "I was special. I was his first." She fumbles for a word to describe everything she and Wally are, was, will be – she can't find one. That's okay though. They're bigger than words no word can encompass them and tie them down.

Kaldur lets out a sigh, "It's enough Artemis. Don't let Junior's words affect you. You are in the right." _Then why does it feel so wrong? _Wonders Artemis as Kaldur continues to offer words of encouragement and apparent truths about justice. She barely manages to tune into the last part of his speech,

"Come. It is time for your fitting." Artemis follows mutely.

The armor is heavy and cumbersome. It creaks in the left elbow and was previously worn by someone with a major body odor problem. But all Kaldur does is nod approvingly as she attempts saunter across her room without falling.

"This is stupid."

"It is necessary." Artemis looks to the ground.

"Are they really coming?" She knows the answer yet she just wants it to be different just this one time.

"Yes. Nightwing could not impede them. He has no reason to. The battle would happen eventually."

"It won't end, will it? After this battle is over."

"I doubt one battle will lead to an end of this facade, no." Aqualad responds; his arms crossed and brow furrowed. "There is still much more for us to do."

It dawns on her in that moment that the armor isn't to protect her, but someone else. Someone so precious to her he haunts her dreams. It's to protect Wally. "I'm in this so Wally won't hold back because if he does –"

"He'll die," supplies Kaldur, "Wally will mindlessly search for you until someone gets a lucky shot. We must ensure that he has no reason to look."

"So you'll hide me. Bury me in armor. Force me to lie to him."

"A lie is not one till it is verbalized. You are merely hiding in plain sight."

"How nice for you," snaps Artemis her nerves have been grated raw and she can't take it anymore, "You have no one to lie to. Everyone thinks you're a monster. You don't need to wear a mask." She gasps realizing the words she's said to someone who has sacrificed everything. _Everything._ "Kaldur I'm sorry."

"It is fine," the Atlantean rubs his hands along his forearms skirting the tattoos, "We are both under a lot of pressure but we both must remain levelheaded or we will fail. They come and we will fight them because that is what must be done."

"Do you regret any of this?"

"Not yet," is the cryptic response she receives, "I would not change any of my actions thus far. Good night."

"That makes one of us," grumbles Artemis miserably to the closed door running her hand over her face and knocking it against the charm. She considers ripping it off just to show Cameron she's not the coward he seems to think she is. Then she groans. She'd sooner bite off her own tongue then remove the charm.

She's pathetic.

"Maybe Cam's right," she says wistfully staring in the mirror. The Manta armor glints malevolently in the pale light. It's just another mask to cover her up. Another layer to hide and protect her. Another thing to hide behind – to protect the Artemis that's innocent while Alice commits unspeakable acts. It's a heavy burden. The charm mockingly winks at her neck as it catches the light.

She doesn't belong here or up above anymore. She doesn't have the right to change sides. Her morals don't follow the rules. The black and white she tried so hard to manufacture in her life has dissolved into a perpetual shifting gray horizon of possibilities. She thinks she's the hero but she plays the role of a villain. She belongs nowhere yet everywhere. She's finally become lost at sea.

She hates it.

"_Wally." _She whispers to her reflection touching the glass. "_Don't come. I don't want you to see what I've become. Forgive me." _And for the first time in a long time she cries because what's a little more salt water to a drowning poltergeist.

* * *

_Well I hope I managed to get my feelings across...I'm not sure how happy I am with this chapter but I leave it up to you. Thanks for reading :)  
_


	5. When the Earth Meets the Sea

Well it is the long awaited conclusion. I can't believe I received over a **100 reviews **for this story THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm not sure how happy I am with it but I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. A huge shout out to **thebestoftherest **for the suggestion about Wally getting captured.

Now let me thank all the people who have put up with the wait and kindly reviewed my story.

**oncloudnineandthreequarters: **Thank you so much for the kind comment!

**Samian: **Why thank you! I love thanking my reviewers! I hope it plays out how you expect. Ominous music plays.

**Mad3lina: **Thank you so much for the compliment. I always worry I don't give my characters enough depth or exclude key parts of their personalities. It's nice to hear that I met your expectations.

**Cerulean Apocalypse: **Yeah I guess I was kind of vague on the whole "invade the sub" thing. I just feel that eventually the team is going to get fed up with chasing the villians and proactively locate them (which I alluded that L'gaan knew where they were in chapter 2/3). L'gaan thinks he's in love with Alice. Through the subtle interactions in chapter 1 and his interest in helping her in later chapters he's developed a crush on the person who took care of him, Florence Nightingale Syndrome. At least that was my reasoning. Well yeah not happy ending in terms of Artemis's feelings but yay Spitfire are back together happy. I'm glad you liked the interaction with Icicle Junior. I just hope you like the final chapter because I'm kind of on the fence about it... Thanks for your wonderful long review :)

**Anonymous: **Don't cry anon. Please have a tissue.

**Weegie-Queegie: **Thank you so much for your lovely review! I'm glad you enjoyed Cameron he's a really interesting character to write because clearly Greg and Brandon gave him a back story that doesn't get a lot of attention which I feel it should because he's just one guy on the wrong side. :)

**Anonymous: **I hope dreams. I really don't want to be the kind of person who gives reviewers nightmares that's like Scarecrow evil and don't even have to use a noxious gas. Thanks for the review! Have a tissue.

**A2ID: **Thank you so much!

**olympic girl 21: **I tried to update I really did but some many things got in the way. I hope you like it.

**Lady Imara: **Thank you so much!

**anonjon: **Wow. Not sure how to respond to your powerful burst of emotion. Huge hugs of gratitude. Unfortunately every story must come to end and I feel this is the time for this story. Thanks as always for your awesome reviews!

**j9162: **Spoiler - Wally gets the girl or better yet Artemis gets the guy. Thanks for the lovely review :)

**thelastfangirl: **Ah yes the monogramed tissues. I wonder what the monogram would say. Spitfire or bust. Spitfire forever. ovp you suck. Perhaps something elegant like read at own risk. :) Thanks for the lovely review.

**LavendarGooms: **Thank you! Thank you! For pointing out my grammar mistakes. This is what happens when you write in the past tense all the time and then write a present tense story grammar issues. That sentence you told me to rewrite I was staring at that for like a hour going how do I fix this? When I get a chance I will try and fix all my mistakes and I'll bet money I've made the same mistakes in this chapter. But thank you so much. I need a grammar fairy. :)

**Mr. Wartburg: **Thank you so much. I'm not sure how much you'll like the end...I like some parts, hate others but I leave it for the reviewers to decide. :)

**Jazbez: **Yes I was inspired by the trailer. Not sure how I feel about Artemis being Tigeress but at least we're finally getting to see our favorite couple in action. :) Thanks for the lovely review!

**Ms. Mary-Mac2: **Ah yes. Wally. Where do I begin he is totally awesome but he chooses the worst times to be stubborn. Thanks for reading.

**Irenerb: **Thanks for the kind review!

**I Dance The Merengue: **Oh boy, not even fluff covered duct tape will help. Now I feel really bad. Will chocolate help because there will be chocolate in this chapter. Oh I know spitfire momentsthat will definitely help. Please don't suffer alone. There's an entire fandom here to support you. Thanks for the review :)

**sunflower13: **That's an awful lot of angst. Maybe I should reconsider my writing because it continues to get more and more depressing. Thanks for the review :)

**randommonkeyz998: **No the dream won't come true. Even I'm not that depressing...at least I hope not. Worry not. There is a spitfire ending. Thanks for reviewing!

**My Own Mayday Parade: **Thank you so much for the lovely compliment. I'm glad you enjoy my writing so much! Thanks for the reviewing as always you are so generous with your words.

**IronicVegnead: **They will get together...don't panic. There's a way's to go but we get there in the end. You can't separate our duo. Thanks for reviewing!

**Wolf Skater: **I'm working on a time machine to reverse time so you'll know the ending before you read the feel inducing chapter 3. So I hope everything will go alright once you've read this chapter and your heart has been reanimated. Thanks for the review :)

**Cambelle: **Nah my writing's not getting better just more sloppy. Thanks for saying I explore Artemis's character well but I'm not entirely sure I've captured her. Thanks for the reassurance.

**SpitfireChick: **No Artemis will not die cue dramatic music our pairing will survive. Thanks for the review :)

_Thanks to the silent reviewers!_

_Inspired by the song: Swallowed by the Sea by Coldplay (awesome Spitfire music video to the song by MusicalChaos05)_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or it's characters._

* * *

**When the Earth meets the Sea**

* * *

Artemis and Kaldur bide their time. There's really nothing else either of them can do. Beyond that cryptic note Dick sent a week ago they've received no news about the impending ambush. They have yet to decide if that's a good thing or not. In an attempt to somehow alleviate the possibility of a sea battle Kaldur has begun to organize nightly training sessions on the shore of an island not too far from their co-ordinates. With their luck the team will attack them underwater anyways despite these measures but maybe they'll get lucky and the confrontation will happen on one of these cool, crisp nights where Artemis spars and attempts to maneuver in her armor while Cameron silently watches, frozen eyes glinting in the moonlight.

Cameron has been watching. A lot. Vandal and Sportsmaster left him behind – apparently something about him needing to be educated in thinking and strategy and she knows this bugs him because he hates being treated like a child. She isn't sure what to make of her father. Nobody has killed her yet so she'll have to take that as a sign – good or bad she doesn't know. Icicle Junior is not exactly social with the other soldiers (because he's awkward and lanky and spends most of his time pissing people off) but he does manage to sidle in with the crowd that hangs around her taking an unnecessarily sincere interest in Gard. To be clear this pisses her off. Because even though he's "evil" he's the one being more honest at the moment when all he could ever do is tell her lies before.

It's like a heavy weight has settled on Artemis's shoulders and a phlegm has collected in her throat because she can't shake the dread that has gripped her psyche with iron-like claws.

She doesn't want anyone to die. Not that her friends were actually capable of taking life – but there are causalities in war. Always causalities.

There's a line she's treading that won't allow her to sway either way. She _knows _what side she belongs on but she _knows _both sides. How Kaldur manages to keep his priorities in check she'll never know. She thought this would be easy – heck, a vacation from school and Wally and the mundane routine her life had become. Sign her up for boring.

"Plant your feet," she calls across the beach as she watches Gard spar, "Throw him off balance! Use your agility and size to your advantage. Do _something._" She doesn't know why she's helping _improve _the soldiers. She can't even begin to fathom why she thinks this will somehow make her actions acceptable; somehow make up for her betrayal.

"Sportsmaster says _hello_," states an icy voice beside her as Cameron stands beside her. When had he gotten so tall? He stands a good foot above her and though she's not afraid of him her blood chills at the sentence.

"How polite of him." She sighs tugging at her hair, "Am I really that obvious, even after all of this?"

"You can't just simply erase yourself."

"Thank you Confucius. Why didn't daddy dearest rat me out?"

"Don't ask me that," is his sharp reply, "You're the enemy."

Artemis laughs hollowly, "Guess so, huh? But at least I'm not the loser that got ditched."

Cameron says nothing arms crossed, squinting at the fighters until he finally says, "You're not doing them any favors by training them. That won't take the edge off. They'll feel like you trained them to lose."

Artemis bristles, "I am not! I'm…I'm trying to help them!"

"They won't see it that way."

Artemis lets a frown mar her features and then a grimace. She isn't going to cry; but she feels the telltale prickles at the corner of her eyes. She isn't going to let the hopelessness of this situation overwhelm her or Cameron's actual apparent ability to make sense affect her resolve.

"What do you know!" she spits out recalling missions where he left her behind or those times where they sparred and he froze her to the ground; the icy tendrils keeping her firmly in place while he beat her. "I'd hardly call you a pacifist." That's when Artemis decides she doesn't want to listen to him anymore. She doesn't want to be confused or hurt – she doesn't want to have to admit that he's right.

So she turns on her heel and storms away. Runs away like a coward from this labyrinth of doubt and confusion she's created. She has bigger problems to deal with than Cameron's cryptic messages and his veiled threats. Well not veiled but blatant. Cameron's not smart enough for veiled. She looks at the sea as it laps at the shore. The air hangs heavy with salt and she can't bring herself to even dip her foot in the water to give up the small reprieve she's won where she's not surrounded by water and floating in an ocean of self-loathing.

Artemis stares without seeing at the waves and attempts to memorize the feeling of air and dirt and sand. She sees the submarine base floating on the waves cresting over the swell and feels nauseous at the thought of returning to it. She runs her finger along the cool plastic of the rebreather staring at it. This simple device is the only thing keeping her from drowning. The only object that separates her from death. She squints at it and pulls her arm back in the action to fling it into the waves but she stops and drops her hand back to her side. She'll need it. She has to wade out then swim to the ship. Perfect.

A hand is placed on her shoulder and she turns around sharply to face the expression of a startled Gard.

"We have to go back now." He gestures helplessly to the ship and Artemis's expression hardens. "It's not that bad," amends Gard.

"I know that," grinds out Artemis staring at the horizon. "I know." She shoves the rebreather into her mouth and stomps forward into the crashing waves. Gard just watches for a moment before following her as well as both of them sink into the darkness.

It's foggy when the team attacks (thankfully on land during training.) All Artemis can see is gray mist so thick it's palpable – it feels like she's fighting in soup. She wouldn't have half as much trouble if she weren't weighed down both physically and metaphorically by the Black Manta armor.

Then there's Kid Flash. His bright costume piercing the gloom like a welcome lighthouse beacon.

He's all keen and eager eyes valiantly scanning the crowd and chaos to find her. His eyes look at every neck and his fists land softer blows than normal as he searches for her or maybe she's just deluding herself and he's gotten soft. But he won't find her she concludes; she's right of course. Soon his countenance darkens and his brows furrow beneath that ghastly yellow mask and his hair looks just a little bit more fiery – because she likes to think when he's angry his hair changes color; even a little bit. Every twitch of distaste and annoyance that crosses over his face she reads greedily basking in the presence that she can never touch.

All of a sudden there's a back pressed against hers and she shivers at the immediate coldness that radiates from the frame instead of the warmth she longs for and remembers.

"Keep your eyes on the fight," Cameron clips knocking back Beast Boy who'd been charging at her in the form of a cheetah. "At least make it convincing. Come on." If Artemis wasn't surrounded by pandemonium she'd turn around and show Cameron just how good of a fighter she is but all of a sudden everyone is converging on them – Beast Boy, Bumble Bee, Blue Beetle are approaching the duo from all sides – it's the _B__-brigade_ and not only in name.

"You're going to have to _actually_ fight them," hisses Cameron freezing Garfield's feet to the ground, "You're a bad guy."

"Thank you for the update," grinds out Artemis pulling her guns out of their holsters while firing at the mob converging on them. She winces slightly when she catches Garfield in the shoulder. She isn't sure what's more alarming – the fact that she doesn't feel remorse or the fact that he continues to charge at her in the form of a rhino undeterred by the gaping wound. So much for his childhood innocence.

When she's not on their side she doesn't have to hold back like she's always had to on the side of Justice – she's no longer thinking of the consequences of her actions. Instead her entire being is focused on getting the job done (even if death is the outcome.) Her and Junior easily dodge the lumbering creature causing Garfield to careen into Blue Beetle. A few well aimed shots knock Bumble Bee's stingers away and she has no way of escaping when Icicle freezes her wings and then her hands and feet the ground. Karen was never very good at hand to hand combat anyway as Artemis uses the butt of her gun to knock her out.

"Wuss move," quips Cameron.

"Can it." They easily deal with Blue Beetle and Beast Boy. The fog is thickening and it's maddening. She doesn't see the blade till it makes a terrible screeching sound as it runs against her armor. Cheshire in all her glory emerges from the mist, Artemis thinks for a moment she might have actually materialized like the real Cheshire Cat.

Artemis's stitches ache terribly and she can feel them straining. The sloppy work tearing through the skin they're supposed to be mending as she's forced to flip backwards to avoid a nasty kick. Two missions in a row against her own sister; who has no idea who she is. Just perfect. At least when she wasn't wearing the armor she was able to match Jade's agility move for move but now she's burdened with its cumbersome weight. She senses Jade's knife scratching and digging into the armor and she suddenly feels like an unfortunate mussel about to be cracked open.

She kicks Jade viciously away and she isn't sure what hurts more; the stitches she feels burn and twist and tear or the lump that's forming in her throat and the weight that's settling in her chest as Jade lands heavily on some boulders and she hears the telltale snap of an arm breaking. She hears a howl of anger from Roy as he barrels at her but she simply sidesteps him and he's too preoccupied with reaching Jade to deal with her. Jade's staring at her; not angrily but sadly and her the lump hardens to the point where her eyes are watering and she can't breathe – because now they're even and they know it.

It's then that Artemis turns feeling the intense burning stare of an all too familiar set of rampant green eyes bore into her – it pierces through the mask, through the metal, through her flesh, and through her bones. They're dark and harsh and calculating and Artemis shivers at the look because she knows it so well – has missed it so much. It's as if everything has slowed down as she spots Wally standing solid and hard and rigid in the middle of the chaotic battlefield as fights rage on around him. He's just standing there staring at her for what seems like forever. _Shit. _Then he moves.

There is a ferocity to how Wally fights – it's primal and needy as he weaves towards her. There's anger too. Boiling just beneath the surface of his countenance. Wally always hated being tricked and this, hiding, this is the ultimate betrayal. He stops short in front of her and Artemis in her gear feigns ignorance bringing her arms up as if to attack him and solidifying her stance.

"Oh no you don't," growls Wally literally plucking her from the ground, "We're not playing anymore games." He takes off with her still securely trapped in his embrace and Artemis flails against his steel-like arms digging her fingers into the fabric of his suit pointlessly.

She wobbles unsteadily on her feet when he drops her back on the ground and the armor shifts around her completely throwing her off balance. They're on the submarine somewhere because it's the only place that would have metal walls that are this cold, and cruel and unforgiving. The Bioship was always warm and it hummed with life morphing to suit the team's needs. It was warm.

She draws her guns but their knocked away by a blurring fist. She takes a fighting stance but her hands are quickly pinned above her head by one of his large, warm palms while her knees are pressed against the wall by his knees.

_Act Artemis, _she screams in her mind, _act! _

"What the hell are you doing!" she screeches, "Let me go you neon prick!"

"Is that anyway to talk to me Artemis." He seethes. How could the armor have failed? Oh right it's still her in the armor. She would smile at the fact that someone, especially Wally, still recognizes it's her even behind all the facades and lies if it wasn't for the fact that she was now utterly screwed.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

Apparently that was the wrong answer.

She feels the helmet get torn away and she stifles a gasp as the rough pull tugs forcefully at her hair. Then she's no longer looking at him through the obscured, narrowed maroon field of the mask but her eyes are greeted with vibrant red and neon yellow and she squints painfully at the bright colors as his green eyes bore into hers.

There's hurt there too lingering under his flirtatious facade. Wally's hurt. Wally's unhappy and Wally and unhappy just don't go together because he's so bright and full of life. Wally's injured in a heart breaking lost sort of way and Artemis knows it's her fault. Everything's always her fault.

It's completely unromantic when she kisses Wally, or more specifically, when Wally kisses her. It is literally his face colliding with hers desperately no forethought or planning lips just mashing uncomfortably against lips (heck missing lips too.) Their teeth clack together painfully.

It's their first real kiss in two months and of course he has to ruin it. It's worse than that time with Clayface and all the muck and his defense was he was trying to be _romantic _because apparently sneaking into her bathroom while she was showering and smelt like sewage was the height of romance. Artemis was more inclined to believe it fulfilled some sort of sick fantasy of his or a bet. Probably a bet –Wally is just that incredibly stupid sometimes. He probably hasn't even thought about the consequences or what he's going to do after he had whisked her away to who-knows-where.

"Wally," hisses Artemis angrily disentangling herself from his arms. She's pretty sure he's mauled her face enough. "What are you doing, you idiot?!"

Wally looks dumbfounded for a moment as if confused about what she's asking him.

"You're the one who hid," he ripostes panting, "Talk about hitting a guy when he's down. You wouldn't even let me _see _you." Artemis shakes her head fruitlessly repeating the mantra, _'It was right. I was right. I hid to protect him.' _If she stops believing in that she'll have no tether left to cling to.

"Wally," she spins so he's the one pressed against the wall and her hand is placed firmly against his chest, "This is a battle. Not a rescue mission. We're," she pauses for emphasis, "**Enemies**."

Wally rolls his eyes straining against the hand attempting to reconnect their mouths.

"Sure," he slurs.

"Wally I'm serious."

"So am I!" he says angrily. Grabbing her wrist he turns the tables quickly again having her pressed tightly against his body, hands pinned against her sides, nary a breath of space between them. He doesn't want her to disappear because she's there and solid and physical and pressing against him in all the right places. "I think of you and everything is okay."

Artemis's eyes snap up to meet his.

"But it's not enough to think about you anymore." He places a hand on her left breast above her thundering heartbeat. Perhaps in any other situation she'd knock his hand away and chastise him for being a pervert because what kind of sick person cops a feel while they're on a mission. But the heat that she's missed so dearly is radiating from his palm and spreading across her body seeping through the cold, rough armor. _"Come home."_

It feels like Artemis's tongue is swollen as she struggles to formulate syllables with the useless muscle. It isn't helping that locking her eyes with Wally's reverent, smoldering gaze is making her weak at the knees and her head spins slightly. He presses further grabbing her thighs and hitching her up against his body so that they're pressed so tightly together she can hear the hammering of his heart and feel the thrumming of his muscles through the too tight spandex.

"Come home," he demands again angling his head so that he can graze his teeth along her earlobe. She shivers and tries to frown but, God, is it hard. How can you possibly manage to be stern when your insides are melting like butter under the ministrations of an incredibly horny and sexy man?

This feels wrong; and not because she's _bad _and he's _good _but because it's _Alice _and _Kid Flash _making out in some room while there's a war raging on outside. She feels like a traitor letting her emotions run rampant like this but clearly Kid Pervert has no qualms about ditching as he fumbles with the cumbersome armor.

"How the hell do you get this stuff off?" he whispers lowly tugging at the unyielding black metal. "It's like a fucking chastity belt."

Artemis struggles again to clear the haze that has settled in her mind from Wally's ministrations. For a moment she considers letting Wally just have his way with her. Just press the inner button that will release the armor and let him ravish her. It would be nice, hot even because she's horny and neglected but it wouldn't be right. But whatever inner turmoil is boiling beneath her surface is cut short when the room they appear to be residing in takes a massive lurch to the left as an ear-deafening explosion takes place outside. Artemis and Wally are thrown clear across the room and land in an uncomfortable heap on the floor with Artemis straddling him. Wally gives her this cheesy, lecherous smile as his hands situate themselves on her hips grinding them together.

"I'd love to take credit for being able to make the Earth quake at my presence," he smirked, "But I think we probably should move."

"Wally I can't go with you," states Artemis slowly as if talking to a child, "My mission means I stay."

"That's why I'm taking you prisoner."

Artemis snorts. "Sure. That's believable." Before blinking at his solemn expression, "You're serious."

"Of course!?" squawks Wally indignantly.

"That was your brilliant plan? You'd take me prisoner and then what how would you get rid of Alice without killing her? You justice types don't do that. I can't just be two people for the rest of my life." Wally kind of frowns at the phrase _justice types _but it sounds natural flowing from her lips and that scares Artemis.

"Artemis I'm not leaving you again," he states stubbornly pressing his fingers deeper into the fabric of his suit and tightening his grip. "This is insane. You can't be a martyr anymore. You can't do this. It's tearing you apart." A hand moves up fleetingly brushing the sweaty bangs that are obscuring her vision away.

Artemis's breath catches as she gazes down at Wally. No wonder she loves him. She wonders what he sees. Is she still beautiful in his eyes or is she nothing more than an illusion produced by a pendant?

The space jerks sharply forward and they slide across the floor and bang into the opposite wall. Artemis's eyes widen. The base is _**diving! **_They're sinking back into the abyss of the ocean and Wally's still onboard!

"You fucking idiot!" She doesn't know if she's yelling it at herself or the man groaning beside her. There's only one option now. "Well lucky you. We'll get to use your inane plan."

"Huh?!" But he's hardly uttered the comment when she locks his hands behind his back in a pair of handcuffs from her belt and presses her knife to his throat.

"Stand up," she hisses in his ear.

"If you wanted to be kinky you just had to say," says Wally standing and shrugging as Artemis harshly pushes him towards the door. She wonders if he's trying to suppress his laughter given his shaking shoulders.

"Be quiet and shut up. You're on my turf now." This is going to so ruin her credibility. You don't bring survivors back to base.

She kicks the door open and drags her prisoner out into the hallway. If she can just get him somewhere, anywhere, where no one will find him maybe he'll live to see another day her stupid moronic speedster.

"Alice?" questions a smooth voice that although confident shudders with a terrified emotion beneath its coolness, "How?"

Artemis chalks this up as one of the worst day of her life as she turns to face Kaldur, Black Manta, and a collection of crew members who clearly were not prepared to see her stumble out of a closet with Kid fucking Flash as her prisoner. Thankfully Wally has actually made it look like they were fighting.

"I caught him trying to sneak aboard and chased him."

"To a closet?" sputters Kaldur and she appreciates how dignified he manages to make it sound when he _**knows **_what Artemis and Wally tended to get up to in closets at the Cave.

Artemis thinks she hears someone in the background say, _"Again?"_

Black Manta has remained silent simply appraising the situation and Artemis does not find his inquiring gaze the comforting in the least. What is she going to do if he orders her to kill Wally? _Please, _she begs in her head, _please._

"A most impressive catch Alice," the man begins, "Our employer will be most happy to have a healthy individual to experiment on since we lost our last viable specimen. Confine him to a cage."

"Yes sir."

Black Manta nods and continues forward but not before placing a hand on her shoulder, "You do me proud. You shall be compensated for your commitment." Artemis didn't know what happened. She didn't know why they retreated. She didn't know why Kaldur looks so forlorn. She didn't know why her father hasn't ratted her out. She didn't know why Black Manta was proud. She didn't know why Wally looks so happy. She didn't know anything. All she can do is shove Wally forward, twist one of his arms uncomfortably and pray to whatever God is listening and scream at those who aren't for this messed up, mixed up nightmare to end. She wants to go home. She wants Wally to go home. She wants Kaldur to go home. She just wants and wants and wants.

"You have got to kidding," groans Cameron walking beside her as she leads the _prisoner_ toward the holding cells. Wally just bristles slightly and shifts his hands against the cuffs. Even though she told him, he was never really okay with her having previously dated Icicle Junior.

"Oh it's daddy's little failure," taunts Wally.

Icicle Junior narrows his eyes, "You're both a pair of idiots."

"Cam," she states warningly.

"Alice," he ripostes before turning down a hallway, "The Shadows are watching."

"_The Shadows are watching,_" she mimics sarcastically, "God I hate Cameron with a brain. I wonder if I accidentally hit it back into place."

"So you two on friendly terms?" queries Kid Flash but she feels his muscles strain through his torn uniform and sees his fists clench.

"No."

"It looked awful friendly."

"How about I gouge your eyes out so you don't have to look anymore?"

He tsks, "Testy testy."

Artemis desperately wants to ask him what he was thinking. Why did he have to go and do something so stupid? How are they going to get out of this mess? She can't talk to him though, not really, because people will hear her and her voice will echo along the empty metallic corridors broadcasting a delicately crafted plan that has just gone up in smoke. So instead she's forced to be sarcastic to bite unmercifully at him when she really just wants stroke the inside of his hand with her fingers and breathe into the crook of his neck so that she can feel him shiver from her ministrations.

It's not like this dance is new to them. They fight so often they're old hands at this game of witty, snippy banter but now there's no promise of afterwards of quiet apologies and fleeting touches now they'll both be forced to stew in their own miserable words.

"You're a moron."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Artemis doesn't trust herself not to hit Wally – then again hitting him might just earn her bonus points and make her feel better to boot. But she doesn't want to hurt him which is both aggravating and frustrating as she pushes and shoves him towards the bowels of the ship until they reach the brig.

"Because I'm feeling generous I'll put you in the cell we kept your little goody-two shoes friend." Wally grimaces as if repulsed by the idea of residing in a cell once occupied by L'gann and she can't really blame him. It reeks of fish. But so does everything else – you just have to get used to it.

She forces him inside and uncuffs him to she can place his wrist in the shackle and as added measure she uses the cuffs on his ankles; Dick taught her that one.

"Heard you can't even vibrate your molecules. Pathetic. You aren't even worth capturing if you can't do the same things as the Flash." She regrets saying it but instead of bristling like usual or loudly saying '_being a hero is about merit not mettle' _Wally's eyes just glint at her through his cowl before he utters,

"Don't believe everything you hear. Not all of it is true."

She almost says his name it stands on the precipice of her tongue ready to fill the space between them because is he insinuating that he's finally mastered it? Artemis knows how badly he wanted that skill how he drove himself to exhaustion trying to attain the ability to pass through solid objects. It's the best news she's had in so long and she wants to share it with him. Wants to bask in his accomplishment and kiss him as a reward but the word stops. Here his name can't be spoken because it will mark the end or the beginning of something she can't let happen – not just yet. Not now. So she bites down on her tongue and tries to stop her eyes from shining and stares cold, hard, and uncaring down at the speedster.

"Yeah right. His new little sidekick runs laps around you." And she turns and walks away because that is the final blow. That is as far as she can take it before they both break.

* * *

Why was she assigned hostage feeding duty? Oh yeah, her _**prisoner**_, her _**problem**_. She wouldn't feed Wally if she didn't know just how much he needed the food because she's so unbelievably pissed off at him now that she's decided it isn't her fault they're both in this mess.

"Welcome back, babe." Grins the idiot from his seat on the floor.

"I really hate you right now."

"And yet I still continue to be enraptured by your presence," smirks Wally leaning against the wall, "Gotta say you're one good looking villainess."

"I'll stab you."

"I doubt it." Artemis narrows her eyes waving the bucket of seafood just outside his reach.

"Don't test me mini-Flash if I don't feed you; you'll be virtually useless." Doesn't she know it. When had she become a person who would withhold food from Wally?

"Nah. I can overcome anything with my favorite girl by my side."

"Heard she was dead."

Wally shrugs, "The people you love. The people you know better than yourself; that you have this unfathomable, unbreakable connection with never really die no matter how hard they try. They're always with you. She's with my right now beautiful and bright."

"Pretty poetry but it doesn't bring back the dead," she sneers externally but kind of melts inside at Wally's words because he's actually being sweet in a non-perverted way which is extremely rare for him. She should tie him up more often. Oh yes, that's going on her to-do list.

"Have a little faith babe the good ones can't hide forever and it's impossible for them to change." She slams the bucket down.

"Don't fucking lecture me. People change. They...they can't just not. I'm evil. You're good. _**Period.**_"

He just laughs, "You're more than just evil. Don't doubt yourself at least aim for pure evil. Keep the bar high."

Artemis snorts. God only Wally could make her feel better about this whole miserable situation.

"You're dumb," she whispers and Kid Flash gets up and hops slowly towards the bars or as close as he can get before the chain on his wrist grows taut and then all he can do is reach out his left hand so his fingers brush against the inside of the bars. Artemis feels as if a wave of convalescence washes over her entire being in this one beautiful magnificent moment. He grins,

"Now about that food…"

"Hope you like sushi," she quips waving the bucket foolishly. Wally pulls a face.

"Not a big fan of fish. You guys heard of deodorant. Puh-ew."

_Alice _has to feed the hostage every second day and although she knows (can see) Kid Flash is getting weaker she still relishes these few opportunities to be with him. He tends to exercise a lot; hopping around (since his ankles are still cuffed), sit ups and push ups. It's kind of sick actually. The fact that she likes the idea of him being caged up and completely at her mercy forced to rely on her whims and fancies. It's like he's hers and nobody else's; not his Uncle's, not the Flash's, not the team's, not his pals' but hers alone. It's like a part of her, the gaping void that Wally existed in, is filling and mending. It isn't so hard to breathe anymore because in his own way Wally is setting things right in her psyche.

Well some things.

She can't help but wish there was another way for father and son to get along than over a communal interest in evil or hope that somehow none of this will end with her betraying anyone. There are so many things she's done wrong in her life; she doesn't want this mission added to the list. All Artemis really wants to do is escape but no matter how hard she tries there is no escape. She can't seem to escape the looming Shadows that surround her, or the torments of her mind, or the nightmares that Wally will literally waste away in that cell.

Kaldur tries to be comforting in the few moments he can get her alone; preferably in his quarters because the closet scandal appears to embarrass him significantly. _**Tries **_is the operative word because all his assurances and comforts are hollow and his words fall flat. It's during one of these meetings, it's on a Wednesday she thinks but there's no way to keep track of time in this place and she's stopped trying, that Kaldur finally acknowledges just the level of mess they've gotten themselves into.

"We have a number of problems."

Artemis looks up from her position on the bed scoffing, "No kidding."

"Kid Flash has been captured."

"His own fault."

"Artemis," sighs Aqualad harshly, "That hardly matters. My father has informed me that both you and I will be in attendance when in three days time the Light arrives."

"Wait are you saying…"

"Our mission might conclude? Yes. Apparently they will be arriving by helicopter so when the sub surfaces to collect them an ambush will occur courtesy of Nightwing."

Artemis smiles heartily. Grinning from ear to ear, "That's fantastic news! How is it a problem?

"Sportsmaster is returning with them."

Artemis stiffens at the name but beyond that gives no other indication that it bothers her.

"Then there's the fact people are asking questions."

"Questions?" she can't seem to shake the feeling that she's about to hate the next words from his mouth.

"About your attachment to Kid Flash." Artemis bolts up on the bed accusingly pointing a finger at him.

"You're the one who made me his nanny!"

"But not his company. People are talking Artemis."

Artemis let out a frustrated groan, "Let'em talk. They're too afraid of me to do anything."

"That's not the point." Kaldur actually looks angry. His eyes are narrowed with displeasure and his lips are firm. "If you or Kid Flash want to leave this ship alive I suggest you stop fraternizing with the enemy."

"Kaldur! Listen to yourself!"

Kaldur pinches the bridge of his nose, "Someone else will be feeding the hostage from now on."

"Kaldur! This is preposterous I –" Kaldur slams his gloved fist against the table.

"Someone else will be feeding Kid Flash. Clear."

"Clear," snarls Artemis eyes narrowed, "Like crystal."

"Good. Dismissed."

Artemis spends the next three days pretty much locked in her quarters cursing and swearing and spitting fire and brimstone at anyone who dares disturb her bitter solitude. She doesn't trash the room, she doesn't smash the necklace, or destroy the armor or the rebreather she just lays there in contemptuous anger only leaving to train or to be debriefed by Kaldur and Black Manta about the upcoming visit. Kaldur's father has yet to tell them who was arriving or even why they were coming. She could only assume with dread it was to collect Wally but Kaldur or no Kaldur, plan or no plan there was no way they were getting Wally in their clutches. She'd see to that.

Artemis isn't so much surprised as mildly annoyed when Kaldur comes to collect her to meet their _guests. _The air is heavy with foreboding but a giddy excitement tinges the tense atmosphere because they're so close to going home. _So close._ She's been giving him the cold shoulder and he's been as stoic as usual but as they climb up to the higher decks she places a hand on his shoulder stopping their ascent.

"Sorry. I'm just tired. But I've got your back always Kaldur'ahm."

Kaldur sighs, "I am as well. We are our only allies we cannot squander that connection over a petty disagreement."

Artemis nods elbowing him, "We've always got Kid Idiot as back up."

Kaldur smiles, "I think he's more useful tied up."

They both chuckle lightly before the reach the door that will take them outside; into air, into the end. Artemis turns towards Kaldur who's already reaching for the handle.

"No matter how this turns out you were a great leader and friend."

"As were you."

It's very anticlimactic when they walk out onto the slippery deck. No dramatic music plays announcing their arrival or signaling the swell in suspense. There's no one there to greet them expect Black Manta who stands sternly in the middle of the deck head thrown back as he squints at the sky. They join him looking up into the inky blackness speckled with stars but she catches Kaldur a couple of times just looking at him.

But all too soon the rasp of distant helicopter wings punctures the silence and they're forced to move back to allow the aircraft to land. Artemis isn't at all surprised to see her father piloting the helicopter. But she takes careful note of the people who disembark. There's Vandal and Klarion and his horrid little cat who's even worse than the Lord of Chaos himself. There's Lex Luthor and Queen Bee who clasps fully onto the billionaire's arm as her heel slips on the wet metal. So really all they've done now is confirmed who's part of the Light but none of these people are the mastermind – just peons. Artemis's heart and stomach clench at the daunting thought that she might have to go back to the sea because this information isn't enough. It won't be enough to free her from her mission. But then a hulking mass of metal and armor and man steps out. It's like she's staring into a buff, supercharged Blue Beetle only this _thing's _armor is black and every step he takes causes reverberations to shake the ship. He could snap her like a toothpick and if he has all the fancy features of Blue Beetle's suit he could do more than just snap.

But before words can be exchanged another door swings open and Wally's shoved on deck by Icicle Junior she briefly sees a wave a relief wash over his features at the sight of her. Someone has put a gag on him, in addition to his other bonds, which kind of annoys her because that is so her department. She realizes he must have been shocked when she stopped coming. She wonders what he must have thought for the last three days. They probably weren't nice things; terrible tortured thoughts fueled by his vivid imagination. She'll kiss his boo-boos better later.

Klarion sends a malicious grin towards the redhead, "Ooooo look who decided to join us." His cat meows in response and he frowns, "Yes, yes. I knooooow." He whines. "No killing him...yet."

"Killing?" questions Kaldur carefully, "What are you speaking of?"

"It's simple really," responds Sportsmaster shrugging while stepping forward and knocking Artemis's arm while gesturing at the prisoner.

"Shoot him."

Artemis blanches not quite sure what she's just heard but not liking it at all. They were so close…so close. "What."

"It's quite simple, baby girl," sneers the criminal his eyes sparkling with malice behind the mask and voice dripping with condescension because he's the only one that gets the sick joke, "Kill him. He's more valuable dead than alive."

"You're not the boss of me," she snaps eyes turning to meet Black Manta's but there is no comfort there. Only disappointment and mistrust at her refusal. They're black like coal, his eyes, and she feels their emptiness and hardness graze her.

"Do as he says Alice." Artemis flounders gaping down into Wally's startled green eyes. The sea roars in her ears as the flyer bobs up and down on its black wings puncturing the surface of the water as everyone stares at her; and Artemis makes a decision.

"Where do your loyalties lie girl?" questions Sportsmaster arms folded as he stares at her; appraising her.

"This is insane," hisses Artemis turning her back to Wally and stepping backwards, "Kill him. You'll paint a permanent target on your back."

"Oh geez," jokes Sportsmaster dully, "Like that's never happened before."

Artemis frowns, "How long have they known?"

"Since your little sparring match against Junior, here." Her father laughs, "You really didn't think I wouldn't recognize the fighting style of my own daughter. Baby girl you insult me." He gestures to Black Manta and the other Light members, "Now they wanted to kill you right away but I said she's probably seen reason like Black Manta's son. Probably finally realized it's no fun playing the good guy. Now you just have to tie up this one loose end and you're in. Although we are disappointed that Kaldur did not actually have the nerve to kill you I can't help but appreciate the opportunity to see your bloodlust again. So kill your lover and end the charade."

Artemis feels it. How couldn't she? After hundreds of missions on the bioship she can easily feel its presence hovering just above them in camouflage mode, she can even feel M'gann's panic as she looks down at Wally and Kaldur although there is something darker lurking just beneath her concern which frightens Artemis. They can hear everything and she can feel everything across the psychic link that has never truly left her mind.

"Oh I'll end it," says Artemis catching Kaldur's eyes over Sportsmaster shoulder. She can see his resigned expression but he nods anyway. "Wouldn't want to disappoint." She spins on heel and faces Wally who scuttles back in shock as she draws her gun, cocks it, and aims it dead center in his forehead as she purposefully strides forward to tower over him.

"Ooooo," chirps Klarion gleefully clapping appreciatively, "I like her. Shoot him! Shoot him!"

Wally is sending her this morbid pleading look with just a hint of sass lurking beneath the surface because the fucking idiot knows she couldn't shoot him in a million years, unless he had messed with her arrows then all bets were off.

"Have a nice trip," she says jokingly before she swiftly kicks him in the face sending him over the side of the ship before whipping around and firing at the assembled Light members. She hears a loud splash as he hits the water.

"Kaldur. Go!" She roars as he rushes across the deck and dives over the edge to help him get out of the chains.

"No! No! No!" cries Klarion erecting a barrier, "You stupid girl! Hey muscles kill her!"

The bulky black Blue Beetle impersonator steps out a demented smile on his face as he charges her and Artemis evades his body at least until his arm swings out and his punch throws her across the ship. Horrified Artemis turns to see his arm morphing into a plasma gun and she automatically ducks into the doorway Wally had exited through in attempt to get some sort of cover.

She needs to get off the ship. NOW! Because she's pretty sure she's just blown her cover sky high. She lets out a string of curses as Beetle Boy grows wings and starts to fly towards the doorway clearly intent on ramming her down but he doesn't make it. Instead he crashes to ground with a thundering crash causing the whole sub to quake. There's ice on his wings. Junior.

She's running now. She can't go out on the deck and dive off too many enemies – with weapons. She's not surprised when Cameron falls into pace beside her.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Saving your dead ass," shouts Cameron turning and icing the floor as a precaution. "

"Well it didn't ask for saving."

"Fine next time I'll let it get squashed," pants Cameron slowing slightly as they turn a corner, "God where'd you learn to run so fast?"

"My boyfriend."

"I didn't realize sex transferred super powers."

"For the record I can outlast Mr. Fast."

Cameron makes a face as he peers around the corner, "Eww mental images. They're coming by the way." Automatically the pair switch places as Artemis takes the offensive and begins firing down the hallway halting the assailants' progress; they've done this so many times before it's intrinsic. She wonders if that's sad or an accomplishment.

It's then that a door whooshes open on their right and Gard literally sticks his head out between them.

"What's going on?!" yells Gard body half out the door as Artemis fires down the hallway, "Why are they chasing you!"

"Get back in your room," barks Artemis gruffly changing the bullet cartridge with deft fingers when she hears the empty click.

"But!"

"Now!" She shoves him backwards with her foot and he falls on the floor the door sliding shut, "Ice it."

"What!"

"ICE IT!" Cameron frowns but freezes the exterior of the door sealing Gard inside. "Thank you moron."

"This is so stupid!" chokes Cameron, "Just...you..."

"Yes I know," she pants throwing away her gun as she hears the empty click echo again through the hallways. She's run out of ammunition. "I have to get out of here."

"So you're idea was to go **into** the ship?"

"Don't question me now," she states running again, "I don't have time for you to be a dumbass."

Cameron purses his lips annoyed and grabs her elbow, "This way."

"Oh yeah why should I trust you."

"Do you have any other options?" he asks dragging her through a maze of hallways and Artemis is relieved that the shouting isn't quite so loud anymore. They've lost their pursuers. For now. Icicle gives a victorious grin. "Thought so." _Dumbass._

She has a vague idea where they're going and the blood pounds and rushes in her ears as they make their way further into the ship. When they skid to a halt in front of the cargo bay Artemis knows she isn't going to like this.

"What are you even doing here?" blurts Artemis because she has know. Has to understand why Cameron is trying.

"Trying to get this door open."

"Not that. They left you to spy on me."

Cameron laughs hollowly shoving her into the cargo bay, "Whoever said I got ditched? I stayed behind. I volunteered."

"What?" squawks Artemis confusedly, "Why?"

"Because clearly you're too stupid to realize that you can't escape. It doesn't matter where you go, what you do, or how much you try to hide the Shadows, the evil that is part of me and you won't let us simply escape; even after death."

"Dumbass."

"I care about you too."

"Friends," offers Artemis because that's all she can give and all they'll ever be ever again.

Junior blinks and a crooked smile lights up his face as he nods and reaches out a hand to shake hers, "Friends, Crocksie."

"Ugh if you ever call me that ghastly nickname again I'll castrate you friends or no friends." It's then that she realizes where they are. She knows a cushy escape pod would be too obvious and too easy to shoot down. But the current situation she's presented with actually makes her reconsider taking her chances as a sitting duck. It's an air lock chamber, well more specifically a water lock chamber. Why does this stupid scenario ring a bell. Oh _right._

"Got your rebreather."

"Did I mention how much I hate this plan." Cameron plucks the device from her belt before she can even reach for it and shoves it between her lips. He just grins cockily while Artemis sends him a glare.

"Good luck." There's no time for heartfelt good byes or thank yous as he steps outside and seals her inside. All she has time to do is nod resolutely before the door behind her opens and she's flushed out into the unyielding water.

It's fucking freezing.

The cold Atlantic, Pacific, whatever the hell ocean she's floating in permeates her clothes unmercifully and Artemis forces her eyes open and struggles to swim. She can't tell which was is up, forward, or down and she poetically wonders if somehow she's drowning in the night sky because all she sees in every direction is black. She wasn't wearing her armor; she hadn't been since the blow up with Kaldur but now she's really wishing she was because the human body won't survive long in these tepid conditions.

She bites down harder on the rebreather and follows the bubbles towards the surface or as close the surface as she dares to go – she knows the range of the Manta soldiers' guns. She's not in calm water yet. Oh dear Lord please let water metaphors not be a permanent thing. So when she can vaguely see the outline of the moon wavering at the surface of the murky water she begins to swim away.

It's not the best escape. It leaves a lot of problems behind. But no one died. No one will die. They won't kill Cameron. There's nothing they can do to him that compares to what his father has already subjected him to so he's safe. The ship didn't sink and no soldiers fought. There are no casualties of this battle, but they haven't won the war.

No one even knows the truth about her, excluding the Light. It's about as close to a happy ending as she can hope to have. Although Wally will be bitching about the bruise on his face the next six months. She still isn't happy about the way things have ended between Kaldur and Black Manta. They're back to being enemies; father pitted against son. It's heart breaking and sad. They're really not better than children. The only silver lining is she's glad she managed to screw over her dad one more time that's like an extra bonus.

Artemis won't ever be able to forget what's happened on that ship. What she's learnt about herself and about the _other side _– the side she's been fighting all her life. The side where her friends became enemies. The side that ripped her away from her life and her love. The side she doesn't think she can fight anymore. There are good people there, nameless people who take the fall for the real criminals because they fight for the justice they believe in. It's the little people who suffer not only under their boss's authority but also through the cruel judgment of society.

Artemis feels her body slowing down the cold water taking its deadly affect. She doesn't know how far she's swam or in what direction but she doesn't want to die here. She can't die here. She won't die here. She still has to see Wally and apologize for smashing her boot into his stupid face.

Then Artemis feels it something's grasping at her ankle and she looks down but all she sees is a dark hand and naturally she struggles and consequently her rebreather gets knocked out of her mouth and she can't reach her second one because she's struggling upwards trying to get away from the shadows that are trying to take. The shadows that want her to pay for her crimes.

"Let go! Let go! LET GO!" She screams the bubbles billowing into her line of sight as the hand reaches upwards in a mock act of placation. Then she blacks out.

* * *

Artemis coughs and looks around groggily as she's drug onshore. She can see both Lagoon Boy and Wally some distance away arguing about something. It's probably stupid. Wally's soaked. His uniform plastered to his body and dripping water as Artemis sputters on the beach her eyelashes heavy with soggy sand. How'd she even get here?

"Breathe Artemis," encourages a steady voice beside her as she heaves. She feels like she's swallowed an entire ocean. Then the voice, which she realizes belongs to Kaldur, moves away and both Wally and L'gann are running towards her but Wally gets there first, obviously, and without a moment's hesitation rips the charm off her neck and stamps it defiantly beneath his foot while hoisting her up into the air. She hears gasps escape from almost everyone who has converged on the scene as her true form materializes before them and Wally hugs her close unwilling to relinquish his hold on her.

"Warn a guy next time before kicking him in the face. Kaldur had to give me the kiss of life."

"Should I be jealous." Wally laughs before going quiet in unison with the stupefied team. Kaldur, Artemis notes has been pushed to aside and is being watched menacingly by Superboy and M'gann. There's going to be a _**very **_long explanation later.

"You're an idiot," he states finally laughter tinkling at the edge of his voice, his eyes shining with unshed tears, "Come on _Alice _it's time to leave Wonderland." Artemis is about to comment she can't really go back because Wally has so viciously stamped the charm out of existence beneath his foot. Looking down in the narrow space between their pressing bodies she can still see some residual yellow glimmers mixing into the glorious sand. Sand. God she had never been more happy to see mundane, stupid sand. Which for years was nothing more than something to walk upon that got everywhere and she could never manage to get it all out of her shoes and hair but now the grainy ground was so dear because she knew what it was like without it – to only have cold metal to greet your feet for unending mornings.

"We're going to have a garden, Wally," she plants her hands on both sides of his face and leans her head down and kisses him. Now _**that's **_romantic.

"Anything, babe," he murmurs between her nips and soft caresses.

"On rainy days we'll play in the mud and plant flowers."

"What's a little mud?" he whispers shifting her in his arms so he's cradling her like so many years ago on the floating Watch Tower after another daring mission. So much for finesse and subtly in their reunion. Artemis pulls away and presses her face into the crook of his neck. Peeking over his shoulder she can see the confused, disappointed, and angry looks of former teammates and friends. She can see L'gann tense and frowning. His feelings have probably been hurt in some irreparable way but she can't, won't care at the moment, as Wally begins to shower kisses along all the available skin of her neck occasionally marking her – he nudges piteously at her collar with his nose because his hands are occupied with roaming the landscape of her body (at least what he can reach without dropping her.)

"We'll live near a beach and never go swimming content to just sink our toes in the sand," she hums.

"I could live my whole life without seeing sea water again," is the crass muffled reply she receives as Wally burrows further practically purring against her skin. It's only when Wally sets her back on her feet and everyone is now huddled tightly around them gaping in shock and touching her, touching her to check if she's real and there, that Artemis manages to peek again at L'gann. Poor little fish boy. She has no idea how to make it up to him. Someday she will.

Someday.

When Dick pushes through the crowd and hands her a chocolate Oscar statue she laughs but she returns it to him. It doesn't belong with her because not all of what she did was forgivable and none of what she did was an act.

Wally of course whines he wanted the chocolate.

* * *

Things are different now. Not that Artemis expected them to remain constant or the same. They've changed. They've all changed. Her and Kaldur stand at the edge of celebrating party – foreigners and pariahs among their own friends as they watch them celebrate success and recall adventures neither of them have partaken in. It's frightening to feel so out of the loop – a loop she was once a part of not so long ago.

But as she feels Wally's warm fingers doodling indescribable shapes against her palm (although they suspiciously feel like hearts) as they lean against each other just outside the circle of heroes. She realizes, startled, it isn't her loop to be a part of anymore. She left that life behind. They both have. She's where she belongs and she won't be leaving anytime soon. It took her an awfully long time to get there after all.

**Deleted Ending**

"Hey Wally," she asks nudging him with her shoulder.

"Mmm?"

"Let's unretire," she feels Wally stiffen beside her before turning towards her with the most serious glower she has ever seen. He's just so cute she could kiss him. His response brings a smile to her face because he tells her exactly the answer she wanted to hear reminding her for the thousandth time that day why she loves Wally West.

"Not in a million years."

* * *

_Thanks for reading I hope you all liked it and thank you for your support. Reviews are welcome. I'm not sure how happy I am with this chapter but I hope everyone enjoyed it and you don't feel like the ending is too rushed. _


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